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Question: Another 13yr old poet!?!?
CHARLIE
Those sweet feelings I mean to write
those lovely intentions no pen may express
fly willfully from my reeling head
through neck, shoulder, and arm
singing as they soar
like flocks of beautiful doves
their whiteness blinding rays of hope
burning mortal eyes with purest love!.
The platoon of peace-warriors
armed with olive branch
swoops into my awaiting hand
curled round expectant pen!.
They crawl into that implement
of voice without voice
of speech without having spoken
and float down that inky river
until those sweet birds meet
that metal dam that damns those words
carried on the backs of angels!.
Doves reduced to no more
than mere pidgeons
flee back to my bubbling, broiling brain
daunted by the pen-point
that rules an author's world!.
And yet, no merely material thing
may hold a soul!.
One day, the sheer pressure
of secret dreams and lifelong hopes
will shatter the earthly dam
abd loose love upon the paper
in a million different lines
(more)Www@QuestionHome@Com
Best Answer - Chosen by Asker:
ooh i like it!!
EDIT: i know you'd say no, but you're so good, and im in a band and we need one more song to make an album, and i was wondering, could you right me some stuff or something!?Www@QuestionHome@Com
The wording is way too simple!. It just doesn't work for me!. But, this poem reminds me of the poem Beowulf!. Not the story of the poem, but the fact that Beowulf is about 500 pages long!.Www@QuestionHome@Com
excellent poem very descriptive and detailed and judi is saying im a retard and jealous cos u hv a way with words and all i hv is the fact I CANT SPELL!
excellent poem
good luck and write more
AshWww@QuestionHome@Com
I love this poem, but aren't you worried about it becoming the property of Y!A once it's resolved!?Www@QuestionHome@Com
y'm too yeers ole!.
y kan't read- rite- use peropper grammarish, or spell!.
y duffinetilly kan't lie uhhbout mi ege!.
y'm rill-e tirteen, 2!
whe're sum kool t-naygerrs!.
ih'm allso badd att maychink mieself beeing konsistintid
wut's a friggin consinent!?
did me mean continent!?
conntestant!?
protestant!?
ham i like a protester uhhve uh kweschinWww@QuestionHome@Com
um i think you should edit this line
their whiteness blinding rays of hope
it kinda not made sense to me
other than that i think your very discriptive and gave a good amount of detail and made great comparison and yea what about this line
abd loose love upon the paper
i think you misspelled something=)Www@QuestionHome@Com