Flies really bug me. What do you think?

Question: Flies really bug me!. What do you think!?

(Partially edited!.!.!.!.!.does it need more work, truthful responses please)

The flies in Greece
Aren't like the flies in Spain!.
You know the ones
that attack you again and again!.
They torment you with their tiny feet
Like water torture on your head
Except the drip, drip, drip
Is a tickle, tickle instead!.
That's the problem with flies
Their constancy!.
They aren't fickle!.
Always returning to the place
They love
Your sunburned face
Legs and arms
To try to woo you with their charms!.
But, they're wasting their lives
I've always hated flies!.
But, to my surprise
The flies in Greece
Aren't like this!.
If they land on you
(which they rarely do)
It's with the lightest kiss
Not the bothersome creep
of tickling feet
Tormenting and teasing
You whack, they're gone
They're back,
You slap, they're gone
They're back - to tap-dance on your skin
With all their kith and kin!.
It drives you mad!.
But the flies in Greece
Have left me in peace,
Thank God!Www@QuestionHome@Com

Best Answer - Chosen by Asker:

As a young kid I would play golf with a retired military man that happened to consume about a liter of vodka a day!. Flies never bothered him!.!.!.!.hmm!. Apparently you do not drink, at least in this quantity! lol I took the liberty, since you asked, of making some edits, for what they are worth!. Overall, a nice enjoyable read: Paradise does have drawbacks!?

The flies in Greece
aren't like those in Spain!.
You know the ones…
that attack again and again!.
Torment with their tiny feet
like water torture on your head!.
Except the drip, drip, drip
Is tickle, tickle instead!.
That's the problem with flies,
their constancy!.
They aren't fickle!.
Always returning to the place
they love…
your sunburned face
legs and arms!.
Trying to woo you with their charms!.
But, they're wasting their lives!
I've always hated flies!.
But, to my surprise
the flies in Greece
aren't like this!.
If they land on you,
which they rarely do!.
It's with lightest kiss
Not bothersome creep
of tickling feet, and
tormented teasing
You whack, they're gone
then back once more,
You slap, they're gone
then back to tap-dance on your skin
With all their kith and kin!.
It drives you mad!.
But the flies in Greece
have left me in peace,
Thank God!Www@QuestionHome@Com

I know an old lady who swallowed a fly,
I don't know why she swallowed a fly,
Perhaps she'll die!.
I know an old lady who swallowed a spider,
It wiggled and jiggled and tickled inside her!.
She swallowed the spide to catch the fly,
I don't know why she swallowed the fly,
Perhaps she'll die!.!.!.!.!.

Old children's song, it's what I am reminded of with poems of flies and spiders!.

She swallowed the cow to catch the dog!.!.
She swallowed the dog to cat the cat!.!.
She swallowed the cat to catch the bird!.!.
She swallowed the bird to catch the spider,
That wiggled and jiggled and tickled inside her!.
She swallowed the spider to catch the fly!.
I don't know why she swallowed the fly,
Perhaps she'll die!.!.!.!.!.!.

I knew an old lady who swallowed a horse!.!.!.!.!.
She died of course!Www@QuestionHome@Com

There is a list of rejected adjectives around here somewhere!. This poem reflects the ideas of many of those!. Some parallel terms might be "swell, groovy or outta' sight!."

You've made me to remember a story about the Australian outback!. The reporter told us that they were so covered with flies that they literally had to scoop handfuls away from their eyes so they could see!.Www@QuestionHome@Com

I love the imagery and I wish I had the skill to illustrate this poem!. Until I read this I never stopped to think about the very real differences in flies in different places!. I really don't know enough about the rules in poetry to know if it needs more editing, to me it reads easily and made me laugh out loud!. I love it!Www@QuestionHome@Com

I like it! Funny we both wrote about flies!
The Grecian flies seem harmless compared to the horseflies of which I spoke!. They are about the size of a nickel!. You can hear them coming and definitely feel them land and BITE!Www@QuestionHome@Com

Well, you've sold me on Greece!. We have some pesky flies that bite in different areas in NY!. They're mean buggers!. Your poem was alot of fun!. I could feel the sting - ouch!Www@QuestionHome@Com

I really love it! I found it very creative, imaginative and funny!. Keep writing and thanks for sharing!Www@QuestionHome@Com

I want to visit Greece!.!.I just got back from Alaska and the black flies where so bad!. I knew I should of gone to Greece!. I loved your poem!.Www@QuestionHome@Com

Flies are cliches, they have been around much too long!. Your poem has a pleasant country flavor, good travel guide material and is so different and so well written it can not help being enjoyable!. refreshing surprise!Www@QuestionHome@Com

I really like that! It's funny!.Www@QuestionHome@Com

i love the theme of your poem coz it's really unusual to create a poem 'bout flies!. you're a good observant as well!. :)Www@QuestionHome@Com

Strange subject!.!.!.but, overdue on the poetry path! Fun, quizzical, breath of fly-free fresh air!Www@QuestionHome@Com

Next time the flies bother you, I'll get my spider after them!. That'll show them!!Www@QuestionHome@Com

the theme is a bit funny!.but,its very nice!.i feel the same too!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.Www@QuestionHome@Com

I enjoyed this!. It was well written!. I liked your observation about the constancy of flies!. The only things that might need to be looked at while editing (and I'm not sure about this because the poem is very good--so these are just things to consider not flaws) is I had a hard time getting a handle on what you were doing with rhyme which clearly could be just me!. I also wondered if stanza breaks could give you the sense of the fly taking off and landing again (a structure change might build tension)!. It's hard to give much feedback here other than that this is an original idea executed well!.Www@QuestionHome@Com