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Position:Home>Poetry> New poem. Tell me what you think?Question: New poem!. Tell me what you think!? ILLUSION
Hours disappear When conversing Drawing ever closer Singled out for attention Feeling ever special Familiarized with every move Every breath Every step Yet Truth has been revealed Special interest was actually Ordinary Common Regular Consequently, Adoration turned to confusion Yearning twisted into avoidance The smoke is cleared The mirrors have been put away Leaving behind False ideas False feelings MisapprehensionWww@QuestionHome@Com Best Answer - Chosen by Asker: It has a choppy flow to it, but for some reason, I like it that way!. I like how it is just disconnected words that end up making a poem!. I also like how you didn't hold yourself down with punctuation!. Really good poems don't even need it!. I really liked the last four lines!. Is "misapprehension" a word!? It probably is, but I was just checking!. I like how you used synonyms in lines 12-14, saying the same thing!. I also like how it seemed like you knew the perfect places to split lines!. Mine would probably look a lot different, and no one would like it, but written like this, I think it is great!. Overall, I give it a 9!.4/10!.0!. I really enjoyed this poem! Hope I helped!Www@QuestionHome@Com I agree with really cool!. Thankfully your repeating of the same like definition, of a few words was one worded, and not elongated, with the same words repeated, like many poems I've read!. I did like that fact!. I thought the poem lines were some what choppy, or sinuous, but fast pace, delightfully enticing, and fascinating!. I didn't really get a feel or a like, for the title for the poem, till I read "smoke and mirrors!." That's when the theme really hit me, and made me re-read, with a clearer perceptive!. I give this poem an Attractive 8!.9Www@QuestionHome@Com confusing, don't quite understand but i think it is saying that we analyse things so closely pointing out good and bad points but the truth is the past is in the past why must we analyse what has already happened when we could analyse what is going to happen!. basically leave your past behind you!. it probably means something completely different right!. well thats how i see it i love the way you've used short sentences that don't carry on, it makes it seem more powerfulWww@QuestionHome@Com ok yea maybe change the line set up a bit!? see the focus on every individual word makes it hard to see the whole!. if you only focus on a few words, it'll be much mroe powerfulWww@QuestionHome@Com hmmm!. this poem like focus on each and every word!.!. which makes the reader to focus on every word!! ^^Www@QuestionHome@Com Really good =) The only thing I suggest is that you break it up into stanzas so it has a more appealing look!.Www@QuestionHome@Com it's okWww@QuestionHome@Com |