My poem 'Snow King' please read cheers :) ...?

Question: My poem 'Snow King' please read cheers :) !.!.!.!?

Silent that i walked the night
among my village the beast crept
its footsteps in the winter whites
the lofty snow flakes the sky wept!.

In solo the darkness i saw
this beast in search to dine
on the street lamp it hung from all paws
buckle knees that sent shivers to my spine!.

The beast it jaws, that came to sting
soon my fate would be taken fast
dripple by dripple left the snow king
"Oh!" its riverting body came alast!.Www@QuestionHome@Com

Best Answer - Chosen by Asker:

I like poems about winter and you have some good lines!. But my thoughts are :
- Some phrases do not make much sense, example "Silent, that I walked the night ", were you silent or was the night silent!. As it is written it is not correct!. also " In solo the darkness I saw" , it sounds as if you looked up alone in a thesaurus and substituted "solo", keep it simple, no need to sound fancy when it is not needed!.
- Another example "The beast it jaws" - it does not make sense to me
- There is rhyme but still the poem is choppy, and you need to adjust the meter, count the syllables in each line and make them equal or better yet read the poem out loud and you'll hear the parts where your tongue stops!.Www@QuestionHome@Com

I like this the way it is, good jobWww@QuestionHome@Com