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Question: My love poem:)!?
i stare at you with love
and with jealousy
my feelings for you shake me to the core!.
so much respect and hate entwined in an embrace of emotions!.
i quiver with excitement at your mere voice
i shake with rage when you refuse to notice me
when you step or sway or speak i stare at you!.
my feelings cause me so much pain
yet so much happiness when you speak to me
friendship is in danger from it
so i keep my vow of silence
i sow my lips shut with lies
my heart would explode if you said the 3 words i need
"i love you"
the dearest words i require
and yet can never haveWww@QuestionHome@Com
Best Answer - Chosen by Asker:
very good!. nice use of alliteration and assonance!. try not to repeat words too close to each other unless they are a theme!. try replacing the 2nd speak to when your __adj!.____ words sound for me or something like that!. also, you might want to try replacing terms such as so much with incredible or awe-striking!. Something like that, maybe!. Good work!Www@QuestionHome@Com
it's really good & very expressive!. the only thing is that i think the last 2 lines sound off!. they don't seem to be in rythym with the rest of the poem!. i often have that problem!. also, i think you misspelled "sew"!.Www@QuestionHome@Com
creepyWww@QuestionHome@Com
well i really like it
because it influences
ur way of writing a poemWww@QuestionHome@Com
goodWww@QuestionHome@Com
cool!Www@QuestionHome@Com