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Question: Do You Like My Sad Poem!?
Every day we laughed
But we never had one fight

That one day
While we were sitting by the bay

You said you were in some danger
With a man that is a stranger


That was right behinde us
He did not look so kind

When he pulled out that gun
Then I knew what had too be done

As he shot I ran infront
It was no stunt

As the blood came out my breath got short
That man i think went to court

As soon my heart has stopped
And my ears popped

I could not say my last words
But I may give you the last hug
The last breath,
Just to a very close freind

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Best Answer - Chosen by Asker:
You have too many ideas going the same way!.!.!.but the overall point and direction your headed is rather good!.Www@QuestionHome@Com

it is a nice poem!. personally i don't like rhyming poems because then you have to rhyme and it doesn't always portray the meaning you wanted!. did this happen in real life to someone you know!?Www@QuestionHome@Com

:(
sad yes!.

but a little corny i'm afraid!.

make it into a story rather than a poem!.

:D good luck!.Www@QuestionHome@Com

the rhymes are a bit cheesy but i like the idea!.Www@QuestionHome@Com

yes, it's really good! although the rhyme scheme was kinda off, but it worked!.Www@QuestionHome@Com

It sucks!. 0 out of 5 stars!. Sorry!.Www@QuestionHome@Com

haha noWww@QuestionHome@Com