Poem Criticism please?

Question: Poem Criticism please!?

I was trying to write a song, but i couldnt do it, so its a melodic poem

I'd trade my soul
I'd trade the air
I'd trade it all
Don't even care!.!.!.!.

To see your smile
I'd move the world
You are stunning
Beautiful girl!.!.!.!.!.!.

Enter my dreams
I see your face
I will never
Leave this place!.!.!.!.

Your hair is long
Your eyes are deep
Because of you
Girl, I don't sleep!.!.!.Www@QuestionHome@Com

Best Answer - Chosen by Asker:

you've mixed the two genres!.!.poetry n song writing!. like yr phrase 'trade the air'!.!.it's poetic!. but on the whole it's more of a song than a poem!. one doesn't have to say everything in poetry!. a lot is left unsaid!.

yr poem rhymes but the sound n music that ought to accompany a love poem or any poem for that matter, is missing!. tht comes with deep felt emotion!. dont write a poem unless u feel the words are comin to u!.

what u have written is a song!. i like the last stanza!.

keep writing!.Www@QuestionHome@Com

melodious indeed!. !. !.
blondie!!Www@QuestionHome@Com