How can I make this better?

Question: How can I make this better!?

This was inspired by a photo Shay posted in her blog!. I don't have a link!.!.!.but hopefully you can see it through the poem!.

Solitary Dancer

Quiet air
reflective waters,
perfect backdrop
for her dance!.

Wind-blown hair,
outstretched arms,
in this moment-
pure freedom!.

A single rock,
her private stage,
beneath the spotlight
of the moon!.

To the symphony
of crashing waves,
with toes pointed,
she begins!.

Her sanguine spirit
finally released,
no longer bottled,
no longer captive!.!.!.

until morning!.Www@QuestionHome@Com

Best Answer - Chosen by Asker:

Do not lock yourself into a stanza format, play with your line breaks, force the reader to the images, tease them with their own imaginations!. Example:

Quiet air
reflective
waters,perfect
backdrop
for her
dance!.

Wind-blown
hair,outstretched
arms
in this moment
pure
freedom!.

A single rock
her private stage beneath the spotlight
of the moon!.

To the symphony
of crashing
waves,with toes
pointed

she begins!.

Her sanguine spirit finally
released!.
no longer bottled,
no longer captive!.!.!.

until morning!.

You have "it" I believe you do anyway!. Keep writing Kiddo!Www@QuestionHome@Com

Sorry to have to tell you but it has some huge physical disagreements in it!.
Quiet air
reflective waters,
perfect backdrop
for her dance!.

Wind-blown hair,<<==In quiet air her hair would not be wind blown and it's highly doubtful if turbulent water with crashing waves would really be all that reflective>>
Sorry
outstretched arms,
in this moment-
pure freedom!.

A single rock,
her private stage,
beneath the spotlight
of the moon!.

To the symphony
of crashing waves,
with toes pointed,
she begins!.

Her sanguine spirit
finally released,
no longer bottled,
no longer captive!.!.!.

until morning!.Www@QuestionHome@Com

how can you make this better !?
word wise,just leave it be!.
i have never seen the Shay photo,nor do i know who she is!.

how can you make this better you say !?

put it to a video with the back-round electric-celtic music of jethro tull, and she will just dance away!.

this is a beautiful written piece,that should be put to music!.!.

very nice mam!.

gary bechter!.Www@QuestionHome@Com

last night
i dreamed
of her as a bird
and me as a bird
i landed
on her window
and stared
at her charming eyes
in her minds golden cage
could not understand
that she cant fly with me
and felt loves rage
said ,
baby let me
in your golden cage
hear my hum
of existence
coming from my heart
feel my wings
hugging you
when it start
or let me release you
and fly with me
there is so much
joy in being free
lets dance in that cloud
next to the full moon
lets hold hands
while flying with
love s wing
thats when she said
with irony
why would a bird
in a cage sing
*then i walked up telling myselfe
it must have been a nightmare!Www@QuestionHome@Com

And the Q was!.!.!. "How can I make this better!?"
And D's answer is!.!.!. "You can't"!.!.!.!

It's "all the words that Elaine won't let us say today" and still some!.!.!.
I read a beautiful release and an acceptant sadness!.!.!. mostly beauty though!.

More please!.!.!.!
D!Www@QuestionHome@Com

This is definitely one of the most beautiful, awesome poems I've read in a while! (Hahaha! Sorry, Elaine, I couldn't resist!)
Seriously though, you are very good at painting pictures with words!. A very clear and lovely image!
(I hope lovely isn't banned too, because in this case it fits!)Www@QuestionHome@Com

Haunting!.

I like the word "sanguine" as you have used it!.

This is a poem that suggests mysterious beauty, and I can't really suggest any way that I could change it to make it better!.

Good imagery and I'd pretty much leave it alone!.Www@QuestionHome@Com

You can leave it as is, that's how!!!! It paints its own picture!.!.!.and, to me, it reads like a Pixie of the Night's Dance!.!.!.it's Pixi-ish!.!.!.dunno how to describe it!.
But you've described it purrrrfectly!Www@QuestionHome@Com

Sanguine is fine with me, it's more personal as to choice and flow!. "Pure freedom" is where the flow hung up for me!. Perhaps, just me!. This, overall, is a keeper!. Well penned!.Www@QuestionHome@Com

I can see it perfectly!. You have painted it without a blotch!. For "sanguine" I suggest "passionate" or "euphoric!."Www@QuestionHome@Com

I have no skill in critiques, yet, I know a well written piece when I lay eyes on one!. I am surely laying eyes on this one!. Bravo!!Www@QuestionHome@Com

Enchanting, as if I was there!. I too was thinking something
fanciful, like nymph, pixie, fairy!. Kudos! Sher!.Www@QuestionHome@Com

It reminds me of the dancing nymphs in the music video by Enya, Carribean Blue!.Www@QuestionHome@Com

I really loved sanguine!.!.!.Www@QuestionHome@Com