Position:Home>Poetry> "Kiss"; written for my girlfriend a few months ago. Like it?
Question: "Kiss"; written for my girlfriend a few months ago!. Like it!?
By the first light of morning,
while the sun's soft rays
have not yet shone
across the stillness of her fields,
I will kiss her gentle shoulder
and my lips will explore the
calm valleys of her neck,
and quietly climb to the peak of her breast!.
When the daylight shines at last
upon her calm blue waters,
I will be lost
to drift among her oceans deep,
and pray it does not rain today;
for her gaze is the vast sky,
her body is the Earth,
and her love is the tall grass in which I lie!.Www@QuestionHome@Com
Best Answer - Chosen by Asker:
I really like your poem but i think the first line doesnt really sound right!.!.!. if u know what i mean sorry!.!.!.!. i extreamely love the part
"I will kiss her gentle shoulder
and my lips will explore the
calm valleys of her neck,
and quietly climb to the peak of her breast!."
and you sound like you really enjoy this ge\irl by how deeply you talk about her in the second stanza!. Breath takingly Brilliant and GorgeousWww@QuestionHome@Com
First light of morning - cliche!.
soft, gentle, calm, quietly, stillness!. Too !.!.!. girly for a boy poem!.!.!. oops a thumbs down for that!.
Otherwise, fine!.Www@QuestionHome@Com
BEAUTIFUL APART A SMALL PARTWww@QuestionHome@Com
Excellent, and since you didn't use a name, you will be able to use it again for your next gf!. Clever!.Www@QuestionHome@Com
Very nice!.Www@QuestionHome@Com
Yea I like it!. I think it's pretty!. I wish guys would write stuff for me!.Www@QuestionHome@Com
Its alrightWww@QuestionHome@Com
great!.!.!.!.Www@QuestionHome@Com