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Question: Rate my poem!. PLEASE!!!?
These hazel eyes hide a sectret
They request the sight of my crimson blood
They love to watch it trickle down my skin
But dont they look pretty!?

I can't stop, these violent eyes are forsing my
I want to be able to set this blade down
Why wont eny one help me!?

This crimson river is drowding me
Please take away this blade
Tell me I'll be alrightWww@QuestionHome@Com


Best Answer - Chosen by Asker:
Sadly this is not a poem!. Instead, it is more like an excerpt from a personal diary!. You poetry is divergent and makes my stomach roll restless!. Not only is this poem about a senseless maniac with one of the most vile addictions, it is also mentally scaring for all of us at peace with ourselves!. Self-mutilation is not pleasurable, or wanted for any animal in the animal kingdom, besides the emotional overwhelmed, or traumatized human being!. Any person who casts out pain, by desiring more pain, is on down hill slope, called destruction!.
Writing like you have is not comforting, does not lend hope, so I deplore your poem like a boil!.
I give this poem an
Abominable !.4Www@QuestionHome@Com

Poetry should not repel a reader!. There are ways of writing about gross, graphically brutal subjects that makes it possible for a reader to comprehend the horror yet not be offended!. Read Poe!. He was a master of Horror!.!. learn how to use metaphors !.!. read the war poets Wilfred Owen, and his contemporaries!. Read Sylvia Plath!.!. much of her work was about annihilation but she became beloved and renowned for her ability to conjure sympathy and empathy!.

Christina Rossetti's poem Goblin Market is worth reading for its shock value!. It is her most famous poetic work and is one of my favourites!. It is beautiful and terrifying!. Terror masked in the beauty of the language!. Strange but possible!.

The bible also may give you many insights into writing compelling horror poetry!. It is as graphic as it gets!.
Read some of this stuff and I guarantee what you will produce will not abhor but seduce your readers!.Www@QuestionHome@Com

Study MORE & MORE, increase your education, learn spellings as well as it's use at a proper place AND don't give up writing, please!. You've ideas but not up to the mark talent yet, to express!. Someday I wish you could do better!. Good luck!. I love them who try to write because something will come out someday, that's what I believe!.Www@QuestionHome@Com

I think it's kind of disturbing!. It would work better as prose rather than poetry!. Keep practicing and maybe write about something happier!.Www@QuestionHome@Com

If the poem started with "These blue eyes!.!.!." it would be about me!.
Gosh!. I love it!.Www@QuestionHome@Com

I like the first two lines!.!.!.
It's not bad I suppose, but the meaning is obscure!. Is the subject matter about cutting!? Self-mutilation and fear of the unknown!?Www@QuestionHome@Com

don't wright, or be so sad,, this times need a laugh!.!.Www@QuestionHome@Com

ahem!.!.!.!.!.well!. spell check is your friend hun!.Www@QuestionHome@Com