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Question: ` POEM ! critique, s'il vous plait !?
In hindsight
i could have handled it better when
you threw yourself onto
our bed
drowing in the sheets
with only marshmellow
pillows to keep you afloat!.

You're most vivid when
we sat in hot tubs
hot boxed
in the hot summer breeze
holding out for some rainbow
that might come
after the rain
that never will

and I mused through tears
of sundays when
we'd ponder little things like
dainty fingers and
what flavor ice cream we would be
dreaming about
parasols
and how the sun always managed to
turn us red
without them!.

The memories of
traded glances
in the firelight of the lantern festival
where flames inside paper houses
were meant to banish bad things, but
you never seemed to mind it
no, not at all
even if
you were the worst
thing that could have happened!.

and

now I let myself drown
in the softness that is
the impression you made
sampling the blankets but
nothing ever seems as warm
as you!.



FAIL xD Only 16 and poetry is not my thinWww@QuestionHome@Com


Best Answer - Chosen by Asker:
i really like that the scheme of things is really good and it starts and ends on the same note!. i love it!Www@QuestionHome@Com

That is okay not super deep or great rhymes, but pretty good!.Www@QuestionHome@Com