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Position:Home>Poetry> Breakup Poem Feedback please?Question: Breakup Poem Feedback please!? It's Me
Did you ever really love me!? Did you ever really care!? Because I did It's just because I was afraid To hold out my heart Afraid to let you see Really see me Afraid to let you touch That which I've spent My life Protecting, Hiding I was afraid To trust But I cared too much You are the first I ever loved Although I never told I pray that you will trust again And that someday I will learn So truly, It's not you, It's me!.!.!.Www@QuestionHome@Com Best Answer - Chosen by Asker: GURL YOU DUN MADE ME CRY={ your poem is very emotional and speaks of a love that maybe you were scared to show,,,,,,,,,,,,,, its good,,,,,,,,,,it toke me back to a time when i was much younger and very naiveWww@QuestionHome@Com Its pretty good! on a scale of one to ten I give it about a 8 or 9! Not to be mean or rude I just was not feeling the saddne in it!. Maybe be if u but something in there that goes deep into your feelings like, "I loved your soul and you, and I wonder was it me you loved or was it me beauty!? Becasue you my love would never have broken my heart over this, if you truly loved me for me like I did for u!." I hope I helped!Www@QuestionHome@Com Although there are cliche's this seems terribly honest!.!.and that redeems it!.!.!.!.!.here's the catch!.!.!.many relationships fail because the people are too self conscious or self-absorbed!.!.!.!.!.!.I need more from this poem!.!.I need to know what you're going to DO about the fact that it was "YOU" and not "US"!.!.!.the word us somewhere would be a more gentle jumping off point!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.still, a good read!.!.!.!.it doesn't really need changing if you're going to fold it up in a love note and give it to your ex!.!.!.!.Www@QuestionHome@Com I might change the first part since you are saying it was you not him, the first part is like questioning His love, so you might change it to something like, I felt you really loved me I felt you really cared I know I did, something like that or effect of!.!.Www@QuestionHome@Com Its nice but there is nothing better than telling him personally!.Www@QuestionHome@Com Good job poet i realy like it!. check out mine under "i didnt know u guys like poetry" i was in a crappy mood hope its not too "dark"Www@QuestionHome@Com this is an amazing poemWww@QuestionHome@Com this poem is really goodWww@QuestionHome@Com haha wow i wish i could write like that lol props too you i think its really good :]Www@QuestionHome@Com this is a good poem!.!.!. it kinda suits my situation!.!.!. just i never broke up with her!.!.!. lolWww@QuestionHome@Com |