A little help with my poem?

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Question:

if your just going to tell me it suck, I ask you nicely, just go to another question!.

my question is how does this poem sound, what do you think when you read it!.

This is me; the one you never see
The shadow in the background!.
But we were friend you and me
Laughing
Playing
Swing round and round!.
Where did it all go wrong!?
My dearest friend do you even know!?
Does anyone really know!?
This is me; the one you never see
Missing you!.
But you were too young to see
The pain you truly cause me
Would it had make a difference
If you smiled at me here and there
But then again
Would the pain have been less real!?
So for now my forgotten friend
The is me; the one how used to be
A friend!.Www@QuestionHome@Com

Best Answer - Chosen by Asker:

its very creative, but some of the subject- verb agreement can be fixed!.

like it should be
the pain you truly caused me
!.!.!.
would it have made a difference
!.!.!.

and the line Does anyone really know!? changes the tense to anyone and kind of takes away from the effect!.
the end adresses the friend, and the does anyone is a little vague, so in a way they contrast!.
but that may be your purpose!. i dont know!.

other than that, the poem is very inspiring!.
it flows nicely!.
and the ending is nice - it neither closes the book for good or leaves me hanging on a cliff wondering what to think next!.

truly very good!.
kudos!.Www@QuestionHome@Com

I think you that you wanted to be a friend!.Tried and tried to be a !?!. (A mom or a sibling !.!?)
A forgotten (friend) could be you are the mother,or older sibling!?)
I hope that whatever the situation!.You find peace with your life!.
And I think this poem is a great way to express your feelings!.
A very way to let your REAL feelings out!.
Wish you well in so many ways!.I really do hope that I helped you!.!.Www@QuestionHome@Com

It's a good poem, very heartfelt and powerful!. It illicits feelings of nostalgia, regret, and sadness!. I get the impression that you had strong feelings for this friend, which he/she didn't fully reciprocate, and then you drifted apart!.Www@QuestionHome@Com

I like this!.!.!. no, LOVE this!. It would be even MORE touching with some commas and pausing!.!.!. maybe fix a few grammar mistakes!. But!.!.!. I LOVE IT!
God bless!Www@QuestionHome@Com

This is quite good mate better than most of the **** on hear!.I like your writing style keep it up :)!.

Regard

R DWww@QuestionHome@Com

i think its really good!.
i love it =)Www@QuestionHome@Com

i could feel where you are coming from i liked it, it has a sting to it this is really goodWww@QuestionHome@Com