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Question: I have just rewrote boy to man please give feedback i can only write in rhyme and from my heart!?
!.
Boy to man


Another year older what do you see,
A face that’s aged a few wrinkles maybe,
Does it matter there’s grey in your hair,
For experience now shows a man with great care!.

When you were young just a little lad,
The dreams in your head were all you had,
Reliance on others kept you safe and secure,
But within your heart you wanted for more!.

Patiently you waited to grow to the man,
Take on the world your greatest plan,
Leaving home and love ones dear,
You packed your bag and crammed it with gear!.

As a young man you stood bold and fearless,
Even at times your action empty and pointless,
You had a plan nothing could stop,
Who stood in your way the person you’d drop!.

Passion’s rose through a pretty face,
Not always your best action put in place,
But looking back now you realize nothing died,
For you know to well only to self you lied!.

So look at the face you know so well,
Each line appeared with a story to tell,
The grey is a reminder the lines or a trace,
Wisdom and honor now set in place!.

So your birthday approaches you retrace were you’ve been,
Through others eyes the world you have seen,
Now as a man you are kind, honest and true,
The man as a child you always knew!.



Sharon Michelle ShearwoodWww@QuestionHome@Com


Best Answer - Chosen by Asker:
Very nice poem, a few extra words here and there, but not enough to detract from the flow of the piece!. No offense meant!. By that I mean, just the fill words, and, the, to, etc!. It happens sometimes without realizing it!. The rhyme I like, that is how I write too!. Starts & ends with strong voice!. Kudos!. Thanks for sharing!.Www@QuestionHome@Com

hey brilliant!.!.!.
very nice poetry!.!.!.
i advice you to publish or get published a book of your poems!.!.!.
try itWww@QuestionHome@Com