Position:Home>Poetry> Please please rate my poem It would mean a lot?
Question: Please please rate my poem It would mean a lot!?
A silent drama
A silent cry
Fate was the director
The actors are/were too shy!?
Why did he lose!?
This round against fate
Plan A didn’t work
Plan B has to wait
He prepared a lot
but he just let things unfold
Forgetting the time's advantage
“To plan how to be sold”
How could “they” go wrong though!?
Did they even go wrong!?
--How do you define the feeling
Where one and one should belong
This feeling is so tender
but there is something hollow
Its unfamiliar
so he looks for someone to follow
It's a feeling after all
It has no taste
He should have waited for it to grow / waited for growth
He should not have made haste / shouldn't choose with such haste
If it were to evolve
It would look like a rose
A dainty, phenomenon ( a dainty creature but like her i suppose)
A blue one I suppose
Its fragrance would be just like her
moving as the sun to sunflowers
as new aromas emerge
maturing with april showersWww@QuestionHome@Com
Best Answer - Chosen by Asker:
its very good, but a bit too long!? Maybe, maybe not!. Anyway, yeah, its really good, very!.!.!.clear words!. Like, if u were gonna descirbe the words, I'd say they were like crystal words!.!.!.Now I'm just not making sense!. Anyway, the poems good, but u know the 1st paragraph thingy (is it called a stanza!?) r u not sure about the two things:
The actors are/were 2 shy
does that mean ur chosing between
The actors are 2 shy
and
the actors were 2 shy,
coz if u r, the second one sounds betta in my opinion!. And I don't think it sounds right if u just leave it how it is!.
And a bit in the middle:
He prepared a lot
but he just let things unfold
Forgetting the time's advantage
“To plan how to be sold”
How could “they” go wrong though!?
Did they even go wrong!?
--How do you define the feeling
Where one and one should belong
This feeling is so tender
but there is something hollow
Its unfamiliar
so he looks for someone to follow
im not sure about this bit!. It just doesn't quite!.!.!.u know!.!.!.work, somehow, like!.!.!.it's really good, but I would edit it a bit 2 make this bit shorter coz its a bit 2 long here!. That's wot i'm tyring 2 say!
A good poem!Www@QuestionHome@Com
This is an interesting theme, tho!. a bit long it has an interesting
message, yet needs some editing, The actors too( posed, closed,ridged) (Take a bow) I am far from a master poet,
just a feeler, I enjoyed the read!.Www@QuestionHome@Com
thats was reallly i would say a 9!.5
can you answer my poem question tho
http://answers!.yahoo!.com/question/index;!.!.!.Www@QuestionHome@Com
This is really good!. It makes me think of summer!. (:Www@QuestionHome@Com
Brava Nass *^_^*
I really enjoyed this my friend <3Www@QuestionHome@Com
very good ending!.
some of the verses are really unpoetic!.
BUT SOME OF THEM ARE LIKE OUT OF THIS WORLD AMAZING!.
Its fragrance would be just like her
moving as the sun to sunflowers
as new aromas emerge
maturing with april showers
LIKE THAT ONE, AND THE BLACK AND WHITE FIGHTING CRYSTAL CLEAR ONE!.
I LOVE THOSE TWO VERSES!.Www@QuestionHome@Com