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Question: My only poem of the day, a reworking of an older poem!. Is it stronger!.!?
"the waiting"
Roses, black as my broken heart,
in the frosty Scottish peat!.
Buds hang low to the crusted ground,
dying, in the last snow of the year!.
Pictures, crumbled in my mind,
a woman, I took so long ago!.
She's looking up, smiling at me,
sepia-toned, and very cold!.
Standing, waiting for the sunset,
watching over someone elses grave!.
Sunshine glints off the cresting waves,
that never reach this lonely western shore!.
The sea drowns out all my thoughts,
the woman, dances in my addled mind!.
My life, now splayed before the world,
waiting, for the world to finally end!.Www@QuestionHome@Com
Best Answer - Chosen by Asker:
I don't remember the original, so I can't say if it's stronger or not, but it is a power force in poetic verse!.
"waiting, for the world to finally end"
A perfect finish!.Www@QuestionHome@Com
please fogive me that im like not munch of a critic and i always say the same thing over and over like thats a good poem or i like it and stuff like that i wish i could be more creative in my answers but i do like your poemsWww@QuestionHome@Com
I think it is very good!. I like it!. It is very strong!. And whether I get the full picture or not, I understand the expressive lines!. Thanks for your writing today!Www@QuestionHome@Com
Wow I really like your style and the vocabulary and the description you use for her smile for instance
Want to judge mine please, its right above your question!.Www@QuestionHome@Com
stronger then what!? if your asking, yes it is stronger, it stinks!!!Www@QuestionHome@Com