Position:Home>Poetry> Could you give me a rating on this,and why?
Question: Could you give me a rating on this,and why!?
Why am I always at thought as life has left me abroad
Used to have many friends but they we're bored and left
So why am I so lonely seems like a bad dream
And if the light is dim wheres the end
Why did God leave me to this it doesn't makes sence to me
Seems like the more I try the farther behind I get
A word is to me the only thing left like a single apple on a tree
So why I just don't understand
Why did I fall from the tree and land on the ground
No one to pick me up only to see another apple that was riper than me!.
Why why why!.Www@QuestionHome@Com
Best Answer - Chosen by Asker:
I'll be generous today!. The fact that you bothered to try is worth 1 point, the subject is worth another point due to the fact that it is a very worn out "woe is me, why"!. I won't count off for spelling, which is terrible, and will give you another point for comparing yourself to an apple fallen from a tree!. That gives you a total of 3 points, and as I said, it's a generous rating!. I feel as I read this that there could be good poetry in you, so I don't wish you to stop!. Keep writing, improvement comes with practice, just as in any field of endeavor!. Peace and good will!.Www@QuestionHome@Com
Your concept is good but your sentence structure is awful!. The basic rules of the English language still apply in poetry!. It's difficult to read because of the lack of punctuation!. Clean it up a bit and try again!. Again, your concept is good!.Www@QuestionHome@Com
It's a good poem but too much unnecessary words!.!.
it's better with simple words!.Www@QuestionHome@Com
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who gives a **** get a lifeWww@QuestionHome@Com
ohh nice n 10/1oWww@QuestionHome@Com
Not a bad poem, just badly written!.
If you take out the unnecessary words and give it some structure i think its a 7 without i give it 3!.
This is how i see it ;-
Why am I always at thought
Life, has left me abroad
Used to have many friends
but they left, we're bored
doesn't makes sense to me
So why am I lonely!?
seems like a bad dream
And if the light is dim,
where’s the end!?
Why did God leave me!?
Seems like the more I try
the farther behind I get
A word is to me the only thing left
like a single apple on a tree
So why I just don't understand!?
Why did I fall from the tree
land on the ground
No one to pick me up
only to see, another apple
that was riper than me!.
Why!?Www@QuestionHome@Com