My new poem.?

Question: My new poem!.!?

Nine angel judges judge my life
From a cloud made of white stardust

Every choice I make
Is gossiped about
Until I just appear
To be a monster

This monsters life
Takes place in such a hell
Where choices are black and white
And in the sewers morals dwell

What choices darest such a creature make
From his heart
A cold fallen forsaken starWww@QuestionHome@Com

Best Answer - Chosen by Asker:

I love this one!. Very intresting in how you tell of choices by using the angel-monster roundabout!. I even think it relates to me right now!. Thanks!. You are a very good poet!. Don't listen to the others!.Www@QuestionHome@Com

It's inconsistent with any time periods: you make some pissy reference to angels and tack the -est to dare, as if Shakespeare didn't use strong english so much as just sound as if thee and thou are common occurences!.

Boring, too!.

Metaphors that are blastedly cliched beyond comparison!. I mean, how is a star forsaken!?

The images aren't tired to whatever you're trying to say, which means the thirty seconds it took you to write this nonsense was a waste of time!.Www@QuestionHome@Com

BOring!. sorry to say thatWww@QuestionHome@Com

it was not good
scrap it and try againWww@QuestionHome@Com