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Question: Is this good or just pure emotion!?
Child of the winter
She throws apart my barrier
in the light of summer
She drifts away to Arctic slumber
I have felt the life she drains
in the night of mortal planes
hoped to free myself from gain
let the coldness rain
But it has never suited me
to be the fear I wish to be
neither does she ever see
that her coldness is my reverie
The Ice Queen has sung her song
under her I cannot stay long
If you wish, blast it to bits… I just needed to write something and for now I cannot think straight to write well… this is pure emotion, nothing more nothing less!
What are your thoughts!?Www@QuestionHome@Com
Best Answer - Chosen by Asker:
Your question title was : Is this good or just pure emotion!?
And my answer is: It's a rare occurence when a manifestation of pure emotion turns out badly!.
I like it!. Could be edited a bit cause at points the rhyming sounds a bit gimmicky, but the important thing is that I actually believe you!. Sincerity and actual feeling(which you've got) is something I think is lacking in a lot of poetry these days, as it seems like there are tons of those indie kids who spin empty metaphors and focus so hard on sounding perfectly unaffected, so you've definitely impressed me!.Www@QuestionHome@Com
I think it is good! The end of many lines in a row all rhyming annoyed me a bit but I got over it to see the quality in the writing!. Can I ask what it is about or do you even know!?Www@QuestionHome@Com
I think it's truly beautiful and from the core of your heart!.Www@QuestionHome@Com