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Question: Poem I've found from when I was 11, what do you think!?
I've just found a poem I wrote a couple of years ago when I was 11!. I was proud at the time but looking over it now I can see loads of things I could change!. What do you think!?
The Lands of Forever
In a place close to here, once upon a time,
Death was nearby for a loved one of mine!.
She cuddled me close and told me to smile,
We’d meet again, just not for a while!.
“When!?” I demanded with tears in my eyes
“Where!?” I whispered and started to cry!.
She hugged me tightly and promised that someday,
We’d be together in the lands of forever!.
“How do I get there!?” I asked looking down!.
“Be patient, I’ll tell you!.” she smiled with a frown!.
“To reach this place you must sail on pure tears,
Through the realms of happiness,
Past shadows of fear!.
Roam along paths of hope,
Away from forests of doubt,
Make sure the one Patience stays with you,
Watch out for the tempers about!.
Then, through a valley and over a hill,
Be brave, be strong until
We’re together in the lands of forever!.”
!.!.!.Www@QuestionHome@Com
Best Answer - Chosen by Asker:
there's nothing needed of change!.
it's phenomenal!.
seriously!.!.!.
for 11 years old, you sure knew your stuff!.
This actually reminds me of a recent loss of mine!. :'(Www@QuestionHome@Com
this is a really lovely poem and as the writer you are bound to see things you would like to change in your eyes it'll probably never be finnished but as the reader i would say it was perfect the way it isWww@QuestionHome@Com
Excellent use of words!. Thankyou for sharing!.10/10Www@QuestionHome@Com
OH MY GOD!!!! You wrote that when you were 11 that was one of the most powerful and moving poems i've read my english teacher would have a field day at that!. Well done :)Www@QuestionHome@Com
I think the poem is very deep and sad, but wonderful!.
you should try and get the poem published!.Www@QuestionHome@Com
that is pretty good
poems dont always have to rhyme though
the structure is impressiveWww@QuestionHome@Com
ii'm suprised you wrote that when you were eleven!.
the structure is goodWww@QuestionHome@Com
*jaw drops*
u wrote that when you were 11
thats really deep for 11Www@QuestionHome@Com
its goodWww@QuestionHome@Com
11!? 11!?!?!?
Woh!.!.!.no way!Www@QuestionHome@Com