Alright rate this short poem?

Question: Alright rate this short poem!?

I sigh a breeze,for
the Midnight Maiden
has touched you,yet again
left fresh honey dew kisses-
-bejeweling your parted
red lips with a morning starWww@QuestionHome@Com

Best Answer - Chosen by Asker:

still to wordy, IMO!.
I see it like this:-

I sigh a breeze
the Midnight Maiden
has touched you,

Fresh honey dew kisses
bejeweling, parted red lips
with a morning star

Its not the length of the poem, its the extra unnecessary words

Edit!.
In the additional first verse Stanza, i would have to agree with AmyJane!.

"interlaced eyelashes"!? You need to show the picture even if its complete fantasy!. I should be able to close my eyes and "see" your poem!.

If your "Mother Earth" what type of Mother are you!?
by answering this question first you will set the "canvas" for your poem!.
i hope this helps

Edit
This is how i see it:-

I create, I give birth
You shall find your rest
Feel my heat
Lay upon my breast

I command the sky
Let light reveal your beauty
My red rose
For you shall never be lonely

I sigh a breeze
My Midnight Maiden
has touched you
But it is I, that beckon

Fresh honey dew kisses
bejeweling, parted red lips
with a morning star
the only witnessWww@QuestionHome@Com

not very good, but the imagery is top notch!. like what some of the other people said - its confusing and there seems to be no exact meaning!. it sounds like you're thinking every word out!. let the words come from your heart, it sounds better and flows easier too! (trust me, I know!)Www@QuestionHome@Com

Pretty words!.
Interesting Images!.
But no meaning beneath!.Www@QuestionHome@Com

I think your poems are absolutely breathe-taking!Www@QuestionHome@Com

It's nonsensical regurgitation of what you think poetry is!.Www@QuestionHome@Com

Interesting!. 3Www@QuestionHome@Com

7/10Www@QuestionHome@Com

huh!? I don't understand a word you just said

Very very lameWww@QuestionHome@Com