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Position:Home>Poetry> Honest opinion - should I drop the pen?Question: Honest opinion - should I drop the pen!? We took a walk my friend and I,
Under the roof of an azure sky!. Hand in hand we passed the time, In fields of daisies and celandines!. We came to rest, him by me, Beneath the shade of an old oak tree And there he spoke of words so sweet No nightingale could e'er compete!.Www@QuestionHome@Com Best Answer - Chosen by Asker: It sound great to me!. It seems to be a romantic description!. It seems well composed and shows good rhythm and use of meaning and sound of the words!. For it to be a great work it might need to tell more of the story to see a moral or whatever, but I could be biased since all my poetry was very cerebral!. Either that or there are hidden meanings for me to find!. On the whole it is great stuff!. Keep writing I am anxious to see what happened next!. Writing poetry is something you have to stick at!. At the moment I am only good at philosophy but in my early twenties and perhaps earlier I was quite good at poetry in my opinion and that of others!. Sadly I have lost my writings, but they brought pleasure to me and others likely have copies out somewhere in the world!. Keep writing and make backup copies in case you loose them!. Looking back in later yeas at old poetry can be an enriching experience!. If this is just a sample, keep writing because it seems as good as any romantic poetry I have read!. My Auntie Val is a very good poet, but has not published too many books of her poetry!. Her stuff tends to be amusing and reveal tghings about the world that stimulates change!. E!.g!. showing the stupidity of injustices!. Keep at it even if it is just for fun!. If you want to make a career out of it you may have to find your market niche!.Www@QuestionHome@Com Are you crazy! This poem is fantastic!. You have a natural talent and your vocab is great!. This poem is very sweet and melodic and you don't sacrifice content for the sake of rhyme-a very difficult obstacle for most writers!. Everything fits in very well!. I would change "under" to "beneath," but that's just my opinion!.Www@QuestionHome@Com Yes, its very sweet : )!. The nice thing about a poem though is it always can be worked on!. I'm wondering if you know the symbolism behind the nightingale!? That it means immortality!? Perfect for a birds song as well as the immortal meaning of the words!.Www@QuestionHome@Com Its simple but I like the choice of wording-The roof of the sky is a nice change!. "we came to rest-him by me" Doesnt flow as well as it could-you may want to reconsider that line Its simple and sweet-Www@QuestionHome@Com No! You can always hone your talent and refine your skills by continuing to write, critique your work, and read others'!. Besides, it sounded quite good to me!. Keep writing and working hard! Good luck! Thanks for sharing!Www@QuestionHome@Com How lovely, can't wait to read something else from you! Perish the thought, of you not writing poems anymore, not your pen!!!Www@QuestionHome@Com Superb!. I love your surrealist form!. I enjoy such relished life!. Thin encapsulations and scenes!. Free instead!.Www@QuestionHome@Com I definitely think you should keep that pen in your hand that was a great poem!.Www@QuestionHome@Com your language and everything is quite nice but dont u think the poem needs more substance!?Www@QuestionHome@Com No, not in a million years! U r really good and you should carry on writing!. If anyone has told you you should give up they honestly haven't got a clue!.Www@QuestionHome@Com Sell this poem to Carly Simon, she likes poems like this!.Www@QuestionHome@Com no, that's pretty good!. Continue and post the final poem!.Www@QuestionHome@Com if you feel you need more, than no!. but i would say its fine the way it is!. whatever your satisfied with!.Www@QuestionHome@Com i think its niceWww@QuestionHome@Com |