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Position:Home>Poetry> Read my poem! number 2?Question: Read my poem! number 2!? Feels like Im falling apart
And I have to hold it together Or else you will fall apart All together I just wish I would die So I dont have to watch another tear How am I to know Who to be and what choices to make and deep inside im starting to disappear Like a falling star's wake Just want to sleep forever Dying after every dream Why must I awake into this world When I have never felt real Losing myself inside this world Everythings too realWww@QuestionHome@Com Best Answer - Chosen by Asker: I can relate to this poems vibe, and message!. I feel that same way some mornings!. "Like a falling star's wake!." I think this sentence makes the poem a brilliant piece of work!. The rest is kind of dull, because of your lack of imaging through out the poem, but yet it has leaves an emotional impact on me!. I give it 7/10!.Www@QuestionHome@Com You should study the classics, and work on your punctuation (even though e!.e!.cummings ignored punctuation)!. Particularly their use of "impersonality", which is hard to show without a diagram, but I'll do my best: There are two entities: The Poet and the Poem!. The poem is the medium that the poet conveys an emotion or feeling!. The two are separate!. (This is where it gets confusing)!. The poet has personality and emotions!.!.!. the poems should NOT be a direct reflection on these!. Instead the poem must have it's own separate emotion!. What you write about should not be exactly what you are writing about!. Do you understand!? The way of the poet is to be shrouded in mystery!. Talking about one thing, drawing parallels and comparisons, but really meaning another, deeper thing!. Let me give you an example: Tears of the stars Lay as snow Fairies skate On frozen lakes Naked trees Have shed their leaves I wait for the day When the ice melts away And then the sky will glow Spring shall again be ours!. *This poem is not about nature!. It is only about nature and the winter-y observations on the surface!. Read it again, closely, and try to see the real meaning!.* "Show, don't tell" is what we're always told!. So show me how you feel!. Through your words make me feel how you feel, without telling me how to feel!.Www@QuestionHome@Com The beggining is good!. But the end is alright so 7/10Www@QuestionHome@Com |