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Question: Feedback on War poem!?
Feedback appreciated very much on the war poem I wrote a while ago for an assignment : -
I am the hunter, home from hill
With no trophy but bitter scars
And the constant memory of those who sleep,
As countless as the stars
We met beneath a heavy sky
Far from home’s sweet balms
In that desolate place, amid the fear
I found my brothers in arms
We fought for freedom, we fought for peace
We fought so that many may live
In the end we fought so hard
We gave all we had to give
We died upon the shattered ground
Names, and faces unnumbered
Why I should live, and they should die
Keeps my spirit forever encumbered
Forever I’ll remember them
Forever their memory keep
Until one day again, I’ll join the ranks
In saying ‘Let us sleep’Www@QuestionHome@Com
Best Answer - Chosen by Asker:
I love the imagery and also how you described the the heaviness of the responsibility of someone who goes off to war!. At times it is a necessary burden to go of and fight for hearth and home!. It sounds like the soldier from the 1800s who would rather have everyone safe from harm!. Just also here is one piece of advice I know this poem is already wonderful but I think if you would set it aside for awhile no more than half a month or less then come back to it and edit it just a little it will be ready to publish, but this time put your whole self into this poem throw yourself into it and then write your experience of what you felt!. If you do then whenever you go to publish this poem you will have tangible evidence of what you could say to a major publisher!.Www@QuestionHome@Com
This is 1st class, well done!. Publish it, immediately!.Www@QuestionHome@Com
It depends which war you are talking about!Www@QuestionHome@Com
I love it! It's so awesome!Www@QuestionHome@Com
WOW THATS GOOD!. send me a copy!.Www@QuestionHome@Com
That is awesome!!!!!!!!!Www@QuestionHome@Com