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Question: My poem!.!.!.=]!?
To live, is to sleep, is to breath, is to try,
To forget all the things you said,
All those horrible lies!.
And the words that you said that destroyed my poor head!.
And the looks that you gave that broke my poor heart!.
Did you tell her to be such an attention seeking whore!?
Is that your secret ambition when life becomes a bore!?
It used to be you and me,
Me and you
And now I see…
I’m too good for you!?
I’m not sure what happened…
I was stupid,
Na?ve
And you told me you cared…
I was certainly deceived!.
So you crawled back to her,
Acting innocent as could be,
And made it seem like the only thing wrong,
Was me!.Www@QuestionHome@Com
Best Answer - Chosen by Asker:
wow, that is truly outstanding!. I can totally relate to it!. You've summed up your feelings in a such a beautiful poem!.
It sounds like its something thats happened to you, i can feel the emotions while reading it
wow, you shoudl really write more poems!. =]]]]
xxxWww@QuestionHome@Com
the measure's kinda bad
i think if you measure it out it'll be a lot better
needs to have a smoother flow
otherwise, decent
constructive criticism never hurt anybody
try to fix it and post the new version
im sure it'll be betterWww@QuestionHome@Com
I’m too good for you!?
is not what you should say
but the opposite
besides that the poem is formidable and it starts of with the common technique the first few lines but then you break that common factor by the second stanzaWww@QuestionHome@Com
It's good :)
To the person who said it doesn't rhyme:
Poems don't have to rhyme!
Even though it's a good poem, I think it will sound better if someone sang it as a song!.Www@QuestionHome@Com
PERFECT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!.!.!.Www@QuestionHome@Com
bravo!
please answer my q! http://answers!.yahoo!.com/question/index;!.!.!.Www@QuestionHome@Com
this is a great poem!
sounds like something horrible happened to you though! sorry!.
&& people a poem doesnt have to rhyme!. gosh!Www@QuestionHome@Com
FANTASTIC!!! I love it! I love poetry, that was beautifulWww@QuestionHome@Com
its really good, but i wouldnt put it on a public website, because someone can just copy it and get the credit/money for itWww@QuestionHome@Com
~I really like it~
You wrote down all you thoughts and emotions in a good form, and nice choice of vocabulary!! keep writing =)Www@QuestionHome@Com
WOW made me cry beautiful *claps* BEAUTIFULWww@QuestionHome@Com
Umm good but not enough, your details are all one one thing!. Poems are suppose to be really really wildy lines, your is just straight!. Id give it a 56/100Www@QuestionHome@Com
I think it's kinda whiny!.!.!.!.but I thinkWww@QuestionHome@Com
i love it
amazing
you should write musicWww@QuestionHome@Com
Its a beautiful poem, full of emotion!. Good work!.Www@QuestionHome@Com
that was awsome dont listen to anyone who thinks it stinksWww@QuestionHome@Com
i love it!. It sound so real, like it's happening to the reader!. great job!.Www@QuestionHome@Com
very very good!. really really gr8!. ur a very amazing writer!Www@QuestionHome@Com
I like it a lot!. Did you just write it or did you do it for something!?Www@QuestionHome@Com
Nice Job! Poetry is for feelings!.
!.!.!.!.!.!.LOVE
!.!.!.!.!.!.LOVER
!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.OVER
RECOVERWww@QuestionHome@Com
SWEET!!!!!
You kind of write like me!.!.!.AntiWww@QuestionHome@Com
poems dont always need to rhymeeeWww@QuestionHome@Com
that doesnt rhyme!Www@QuestionHome@Com
whoa i love it!. its beautiful!.!. really great!. write more :DWww@QuestionHome@Com
I quite like it, but try to make things rhyme!.Www@QuestionHome@Com