Position:Home>Poetry> Ah, it's so frustrating, but that's life I guess, how hard it really is
Question: Ah, it's so frustrating, but that's life I guess, how hard it really is to write well!?
he believed
he believed in the wind
the wind rain and snow
he believed in love
that it’s something we know
he believed in the summer
the best years of life
he believed in hard work
and he believed in his wife
he didn't know politics
he didn't know art
he didn't know science
maybe he wasn't that smart
but he made his stand
in the best way he knew
and he died just that way
in the field of blue
in the field of white
in a field of deep red
he stood up he stood up
he stood up he stood up
and they shot him quite dead
johnny my johnny boy
you believed what they said
you believed and believed
and now you are dead
and they say you’re a hero
we need heroes like you
they wrapped you all up
in the red white and blue
johnny my johnny
why’d you do such and such
they cut your life short
you gave up so muchWww@QuestionHome@Com
Best Answer - Chosen by Asker:
It is hard to write well, but you make it seem so easy!. I am always so intrigued by your work!. Great job!Www@QuestionHome@Com
I liked it up until
in the field of white
in a field of deep red
he stood up he stood up
he stood up he stood up
and they shot him quite dead
Idk it jus seems like you were trying too hard to rhyme it and then u ryhmed it too much and it sounded sloppy!.
But I rly do like the beginning it reminds me of a lonely teenage boy, and you put emotion into it and I like that :)
-good job
Just don't try too hard to rhymeWww@QuestionHome@Com
But he made his stand!? Enlisted for a cause he did not quite understand!? Stanza 5 has a line repeating, typo!? I liked the use of repetition to give a beat to the lines!. The last stanza I am mixed on, probably because of the second line!.Www@QuestionHome@Com
i too at one point wanted to write poetry!.
if you read some famous poems, not all but lot of them is master of diction and imagery!.
so work on your vocabulary like a mad man, and you will get better gradually!.
my personal opinion (remember to take others as well) the he didn't know politics, etc part was bit weak!. It really didn't convey much about the character!.
when you lengthen something it should bring tension or a mood, but it didn't exactly establish that!.
its hard, and remember not to carried away with rhymes!. one word can kill it allWww@QuestionHome@Com