A Poem madness what do you think?

Question: A Poem madness what do you think!?

Why are we born into madness or sadness
or what it may be!.
Looking all around wanting to drown
as life is not what it seems!.
I know life is so great ' and and wish i could purge all my hate' as it eats at my very soul!.!.

When i came from play' and found you had
moved away' was more than a kid could take !.13 on the streets ' I once was so meek
but now i am just like steel!.
That really was the day' all my dreams blew away'
and knew this day would some how' seal my life!.Www@QuestionHome@Com

Best Answer - Chosen by Asker:

Has a good theme but I would say use more complex words and try to make them poem more deeper and darker!.Www@QuestionHome@Com

It sounds that you were deeply disturbed and upset that a friend moved away!. You were deserted!. Sad!. I am glad, however, that you steeled yourself up for further misfortune!.Www@QuestionHome@Com

Very cool, metallic one!.!.!.Www@QuestionHome@Com

This almost has a rap sound!. It could be set to music!.Www@QuestionHome@Com

its OK!.not bad!.Www@QuestionHome@Com

Not 2 shabby Cami, I hope U can realize some happiness in your life!
BTW, how old are U now!?

Timothy

:o)Www@QuestionHome@Com