Very short: Does it make any sense?

Question: Very short: Does it make any sense!?

Wings pierce through my back
As the colourful bursts
of transcended souls
Across the night skies
Cast flickers upon my face,
Beckoning me to fly
And merge into the starsWww@QuestionHome@Com

Best Answer - Chosen by Asker:

To die, and become angel, immortal in the infinite!.

Nice thoughts, in mortal moments, probably late at night, lonely and alone!.Www@QuestionHome@Com

It's another nice one!. Here's a suggestion though, to do with as you will:

I think the first line sounds a little violent!.
Typically, "piercing" implies something poking in from the outside, like a dagger piercing flesh or a pin piercing a baloon!. This makes it seem like the wings are being rammed into you!. (Maybe that's what you're saying, but the peacefulness of the remaining lines would indicate otherwise!.)

Perhaps something like "wings sprout (or emerge, or grow, etc!.) from my back" would be more effective!? This would imply that the wings are coming out of you and giving you the power -- or manifesting your desire -- to fly into the stars; rather than being thrust into you and compelling you to answer the beckoning of the transcended souls!.Www@QuestionHome@Com

It's nice, just try to find something to replace "pierce"!. Just my opinion, it doesn't flow with the rest of the piece for me!.Www@QuestionHome@Com

very graphic and very emotional!. I could feel the cross over!.!.!.!.
Spiritual awareness is such a powerful thing!.!.!.!.!.Www@QuestionHome@Com

i almost thought i was in the spirit world when i was reading your work!.the imagery is powerful!.fantastic work!.Www@QuestionHome@Com

Makes sense and the visuals are really peaceful!. Good job!.Www@QuestionHome@Com

Yes it is very compelling!!.!. You feel the urge to fly away and escape!.Www@QuestionHome@Com

like an angel, right!?
i love the imagery!.
i can really see the picture in my mind
great jobWww@QuestionHome@Com

LOVE THIS!!Www@QuestionHome@Com