I have deiced to sacrifice this poem to the god of the corn. Is it right?

Question: I have deiced to sacrifice this poem to the god of the corn!. Is it right!?

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May and the Sunless Sky
by TD Euwaite

Hear,
the thunder clapping
Eastward rolls,
from the hills
down onto
the greening
valley floor!.

Rain,
it pours out
on the wheat and corn,
wheat and corn

Black,
the sky and light
with lightning rise,
hypnotize…

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Best Answer - Chosen by Asker:

I am hypnotized into thinking I am a troll, even my Avatar has changed!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.Www@QuestionHome@Com

I like this one!. The internal rhyme is what sells it for me in S3 with rise and hypnotize!. I also like the structure with the one word openings and the repetition of wheat and corn in S2!.

Favorite other lines and word choices:

Eastward rolls, (you could probably lose the comma)
from the hills

greening

All of S3!.

Only other nit is you could cut "it" in S2 L2

Oh, the title is just perfect!.

Excellent poem TD one of your best!.Www@QuestionHome@Com

Perhaps your sacrifice will work!. Nothing else seems to be doing so!. Then the corn will grow again, make food and drink and fuel to feed the everhungry and overthirsty world!.Www@QuestionHome@Com

Ah, what a wonderful storm with hypnotizing lightning!.Www@QuestionHome@Com

Nice poem!. I really like the third stanza!.!.!.great rhyme!.Www@QuestionHome@Com

Sounds like, someone walking in the back door of home
to let the storm be known!. your words just rolled along with it!.Www@QuestionHome@Com

Great flow!.Www@QuestionHome@Com

Sure, that's right!.Www@QuestionHome@Com

I like it!. We could use a little rain around here!.!.!.Www@QuestionHome@Com