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Question: Do you think this is good enough!.!.!?
Gosh, I’m sorry, I must look appalling
I just cannot stop my tears from falling
I am a mess ‘cos of my broken heart
Want to explain but don’t know how to start
Well, okay!.!.!. In late evening, yesterday
He knocked on my door, I sent him away
He only wanted to apologize
I weren’t ready for forgiveness to rise
Yep, he must have known I was too upset
Was too upset to forgive and forget
But now I wish I’d given him a chance
Said he’d take me out and teach me to dance
If only I’d gone and opened the door
That was his one chance to hold me once more…
!.!.xany feedback would be brill and any improvements!?!?Www@QuestionHome@Com
Best Answer - Chosen by Asker:
I'm surprised that I like this!. You must know that about 99% of poetry posted on y!answers with the question "is this good!?" is usually written by a 13 year old and only good for a chuckle (not a mean chuckle, like a "ha ha I remember when I was young and would write stuff like this" chuckle!.)
I really like it, this would go to a song well!.
I don't know why i love the "Gosh I'm sorry I must look appaling" thing so much, but I do-- be careful bands might come on here and try stealing your stuff!.
When I read it, I could easily hear it being put to Fall Out Boy guitars/music, I don't know if you like them, (I used to like their old stuff, but hey it's catchy!.)
Keep up the good work & keep posting!.Www@QuestionHome@Com
Sounds more like song lyrics than poetry, but you can argue they're one and the same !.!.!. it wouldn't stand up to literary criticism though!. If this is for a presentation or something, I would use GarageBand to make some basic music and sing it to that, not present it as a poem!. Great post thoughWww@QuestionHome@Com
I enjoyed the imagery very much, and I like how the emotions of the writer are there!.
One thing I did notice was the meter is quite off!.
I think it's definately a piece that has amazing potential!. Keep it up!Www@QuestionHome@Com
Riveting!!! What brilliant talent!!! You are basically the new Sylvia Plath!!!! Bravo!!!!Www@QuestionHome@Com