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Question: Please comment/critique this poem!?
Dear Tricia,
Today my hair are gray,
Musing about yesteryear,
Perchance on this day
hoping you'd appear!.
Now looking back today,
If I ever had a choice,
With you there I'd stay
only to hear that voice!.
I grin, and then remember
How your smile glowed,
Seeming to last forever,
that summer, years ago!.
Past seasons have gone,
With it, we'd changed
there it all went wrong
and emotions waned!.
We were naive and young
You couldn't wait forever,
Not biting your tongue,
We couldn't be together!.
With you were the best
moments of my life!.
Watching our night set
it hurt to say goodbye!.
Now nights seem so long
thinking about you here
when I hear that song,
Wishing you were near!.Www@QuestionHome@Com
Best Answer - Chosen by Asker:
if you copied it, thats really disappointing!. i don't think you did though!. its a lovely poem!. i tend to find that writing love poems are the hardest but you have pulled it off very well!. well!.!.!.yeah it is a love poem!. its a bit deeper then a love isn't it!. thats good!. deep is good!. perhaps if i had to be critical i would say that you could add a verse to describe your feelings!. you have remembered stuff, expressed your opinion and told us the story but not how you feel!. are you sad, happy, thoughtful or what
great poem 9 and 99/100ths out of 10Www@QuestionHome@Com
I really like this poem!. The tone is so lovely - sad and reflective - very touching!. I also like the way it flows - it has a nice rhythm to it!. I especially like the way it uses a single thought on two lines which gives it a reflective feel as it doesn't just stop after each line!. The use of short lines is also very effective!.
I can't think of any criticisms!.!.!. I love the last stanza!. So beautiful!. : )Www@QuestionHome@Com
nice poem, to bad you didnt write it LIAR!.Www@QuestionHome@Com
that guy that called you a liar posted a link to something that you should really look at!. oh yeah, if thats your work then its very well doneWww@QuestionHome@Com
1 word!.!.!.wowWww@QuestionHome@Com
today my hair ARE grey!? wtf man
you need it to make sense but apart from that its good :=]Www@QuestionHome@Com
this poem is brilliant! did you write it yourself 10 out of 10Www@QuestionHome@Com