This poem is all out of whack. How can I get it all in whack?

Question: This poem is all out of whack!. How can I get it all in whack!?

*****
Nonscents
by TD Euwaite

I know a man named Deter Van Meter,
Dutch chocolatier whose confections are sweeter!.
He fashions his torts for spas and resorts,
his special treats, they bend and contort!.

I know a woman named Wanda de’ Blanda,
She rides around in a pink and green Honda!.
He job is dusting and pushing a broom,
and waking the master at quarter ‘til noon!.

I know a girl named Jaynie McLane!.
She wants to travel to Spain in plane!.
Her auburn red hair is very Irish,
to call her all mine, is all that I wish!.

*****Www@QuestionHome@Com

Best Answer - Chosen by Asker:

Sounds rather good to me!. The meter does slightly mess up near the end of the third stanza!.

I know a girl named Jaynie McLane!.
She wants to travel to Spain in a plane!.
Her auburn-red hair is (so) very Irish,
To call her mine alone is all that I wish!.Www@QuestionHome@Com

You're meter is off in a few places -- "i-RISH" is the biggest offender!.

You went for rhymes over substance in several places -- what makes chocolates that "bend and contort" sound appealing!?

You misspelled torte -- torte with an E is what you eat!. Tort without an E is a legal thing!.

You provided only superficial information about each character, so there is nothing really interesting to engage your audience!. It's just a basically laundry list in meter and rhyme!.

You need a plot to give this thing soul, and you don't have one!.

Why misspell "Nonsense" in the title to "Nonscents" if your poem has nothing at all to do with scents!?Www@QuestionHome@Com

Try changing the 2nd half of the final line of the first stanza to he bends and contorts and capitalize each line!.
And in the 2nd line of the final stanza change the word in to by!. I feel that if you implement these changes that you will add a sense of music to this poem and it will pop! Other than that good job!.Www@QuestionHome@Com

verry good!.!.!.but the meter messes up a bit to the end!. you don't want that - the end is the "punchline"!.

try!.!.!.!.

3/2 put "a" before plane, just to help the sense!. that's me being picky!.
3/3 "her curly red hair is so very Irish"
3/4 "to call her mine is all i could wish"

i want to meet the Dutch chocolatier!Www@QuestionHome@Com

It's just a very small bit out of whack,
I know it's all in the talley!.
To get it back whacked you just need a crack,
To get it back straight like a valley!.
To get the right tool you need to look hard,
And find a whacker for talley!.Www@QuestionHome@Com

Hmmm!.!.!.Candy, spas, a pink & green Honda (Accord, I hope), and European travel!.!.!.I'm in heaven!. You've outdone yourself on this 'in-whack' poem!.!.!.it's great!!!Www@QuestionHome@Com

Lovely rhymes!.

I know a gentleman named TD Euwaite
A scholar without a dollar and always a day late
Cooking up words and flipping the bird
And roasting hot dogs on a wrought iron grate!.Www@QuestionHome@Com

What's going on in here!? Is your meter off!? Smells good to me!. Perfectly edible!.Www@QuestionHome@Com

I know a guy named TD Euwaite,
To write funny rhymes is always his fate,
His graying beard shows he works hard
He's trying to out submit the Bard!.

Dammm the meter; full speed ahead!!Www@QuestionHome@Com

It's out of whack!? How!? I thought it was great! Your rhythms rock out, though the Honda was a bit random!. But randomness rocks out too! Keep writing!.!.Www@QuestionHome@Com

I think it's perfectly in whack!.
This cleaning lady drives a grand prix but that honda sounds fun!Www@QuestionHome@Com

It sounds good to me!Www@QuestionHome@Com

it sounds fine to meWww@QuestionHome@Com