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Question: Review my poem!? 10 points!!?
I've put this on here a couple time, but this is revised!. I'd like to see what you think of it!. also, does it flow well!? Advice is appreciated!!!
That Late Night Ferry
It was all upon that late night ferry
The day, alas, my dreams a’ dreaming
My love, alas, sailing with Mary
At midnight’s songs that whisper weary
We traveled the seas of dreams a’ gleaming
And sailed in oceans of endless fancies
It stretched the waves of such a clamor
And warming, wreathing winds, of God Amor
We sailed on through setting clouds
Passing Time alone, of unknown value
Through the fields of endless shrouds
“And all the things I wished to show you”
“Mary”!. I whisper within the winds
That late night ferry, it cloaked my bliss
My head, bobbing, begins to stammer
Resting upon the grave of MaryWww@QuestionHome@Com
Best Answer - Chosen by Asker:
You know what's strange we both have the same sort of literature in our poems!. Sort of a Shakespeare and Poe thing!. Your poem is very nice but that may just be me because its a lot like my writing!. Anyway it is very very good!!!!!! Good luck on your writing and if you don't mind just to look at here's a piece of my poetry!.!.!.!. it might be fun to compare!.
Prologue
Dreamless dance swirls bleary
Nightmares reign writhing over
And I dance wearily
To their calling song sifting past eerily
Nightmares calls
If only daybreak would come glazing over the stars
Lighting my world once again a’flame
If only Lark of dark or dreary could become a midnight merry
And my twisted darkness coming washing through my blunt shield
If only blitheness and content
could reign within my heart
and within,
the blame switch forth to fortress merriment
Even during the midnight clammy
the dark would sustain until morn
And my terror would persist
Forever more my cheerless gloom would settle
For no more sky would resettle
Gilded as gold would set
No more, no more
In the morn the dark would not be lifted,
falling down within their veils
If only by midnight true,
If only midnight true
Would leave a string of blue,
If only true
To wish, to dream, in shadows failing
The ghouls a’ wailing,
I wish, the Lark could sing and re-lift the fortress of darkness gloom
My fated soul shallow windowless falling down into the shaft,
The shaft of twisted wonder and there lay morning dusk,
not veiled, not made by musk,
there lay morning dusk
Death lift falling, tediously
In the dream O’ blearily
Rain swiftly dropping down into daybreak not
Into morning dusk that will never be
That, that is me
My nightmare a’ cask would never leave
No more dreams but baring cries
In the morning my soul would hide
No sky, no sky I would sing out
No heart has stayed through my pain
Only the shell of me, of me
Death lift falling, tediously
In the dream O’ blearily
Rain swiftly dropping down into daybreak not
Into morning dusk that will never be
That, that Is me
Lost containment…!.!.
Lost containment dreary outcomes
Wash through my clammy soul
And if somehow
By day lark listless the starry night would not control
The starry night would not control
My ghastly phantoms washing through
My weariness,
my outcomes lying true
If only Day lark could become a new
My very soul clammed down under
And all my fears would wash a blunder
If only true If only true
The daybreak could make anew
If only Lark of dark or dreary could become a midnight merry
And my twisted darkness coming washing through my blunt shield
If only blitheness and content
could reign within my heart
and within the blame switch forth to fortress merriment
Even during the midnight clammy
the dark would sustain until morn
And in the morn the dark would not be lifted,
falling down within their veils
If only by midnight true,
If only midnight true
To wish, to dream, in shadows failing
The ghouls a’ wailing,
I wish, the Lark could sing and re-lift the fortress of darkness gloom
My fated soul shallow windowless falling down into the shaft,
The shaft of twisted wonder and there lay morning dusk,
not veiled, not made by musk,
there lay morning dusk
Death lift falling, drearily
In the dream O’ blearily
Rain swiftly dropping down into daybreak not
Into morning dusk that will never be
That that is meWww@QuestionHome@Com
it sounds good!. i like it alot!. it flows good!. love it :):):):):):)Www@QuestionHome@Com
This is a great poem!. I rate it a 10! I love the flow and the imagery!. I wouldn't change a word!.Www@QuestionHome@Com
Nice Poem it is really goodWww@QuestionHome@Com