Position:Home>Poetry> Is there anything to follow here?

It seems that the inspiration flows out from one side of the brain and is often not (immediately) understood by the other!. Take comfort in the fact that this is often a sign of great creative genius!. My advice is to not try and force a meaning from it!. It will come when it is processed by both sides!. There is great cohesion in this poem, but I think it will be better not to tell you what I think of it!. I think you might be interested in reading a book called "Blink," which deals with the two very different paths used to form a conclusion - the analytic and the intuitive!. You are a great intuitive artist!. That's a gift most of us can only wish for!. Don't sweat the small stuff!. More to follow later!.Www@QuestionHome@Com

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Wow!. This is so intense and it grows more so as it goes along- the end is a gods-forsaken truth in the last two lines!. There is some profound imagery in this poem, too!. The title is apt and illuminating, which is good with so esoteric a work!. There is cohesive thought and a story worth thinking about!. Thank you!.Www@QuestionHome@Com

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I can follow the thought,
of a woman dressed
in red, walking the streets
lit by dingy lights,
unapologetic!.

Beauty ravaged,
raped by society and mistrust,
becomes something
more terrible and disturbing
than a face never kissed
by the angels!.Www@QuestionHome@Com

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You're telling too much!. Then again, you're not telling enough!. Good images! But, they are pulling apart, instead of bringing together!.
My first thought was of an ice skating rink!.!.!.then a merry-go-round!.!.!.and, at the end, broken headstones in a cemetary!.
Just me, and drowsy thoughts!Www@QuestionHome@Com

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Your words are really esqusive and so powerful with your hurt souls of the unloved the hurt ones!.This is really such a awesome poem!.I see myself in alot of it !.Www@QuestionHome@Com

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I enjoyed your poem; a powerful ending that I agree with!.!.!. I thought these lines would fit as part of a response!.!.!.

Spending nights sleeplessly; is my mind leaving me!?
Ending up crying in bed; knowing I can't even dream!.Www@QuestionHome@Com

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amazing! love all of your poems!Www@QuestionHome@Com

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You have some really good stuff in here; however, I think it may be trying to hard to connect images that are too disconnected but not disconnected enough for a paradox!. I think there is too much going without all the images working together!.

The last four lines are cohesive and create an interesting image!. I can see how you are trying to get to that last bit; however, it doesn't make the circle complete from the first line about desolation to the last line of never was!.

I would take out bright and just leave flower without an adjective!. The flower connotes color without it!.

I'm not quite getting where you are going with the waltzing or the ringing in your ear!. You may want to work that out together, maybe music ringing in your ear or something that would pull the dancing metaphor together!. Really, I'm not quite sure what's going on in that part so I could be totally off base with suggesting music!.

This is the part that is not cohesive with the entire poem:

I watch as they slowly waltz by
in a dance of downcast heads
How it could stand and not fall
I could not see
A ring snares my ear
as the pressure thickens
and the hot becomes unbearable

It is just that some of the images don't flow together!. See if you can tie them all up together by cleaning up that middle bit!. Overall, I think this could be a really strong piece with just a bit more editing!. Good luck and keep writing! (And remember, these are all just opinions and you, as the poet, get to ultimately decide if it's cohesive or even if it needs to be!.)Www@QuestionHome@Com

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