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Question: Poem I Wrote!? 1-10!?
if you are my friends you have already answered so you dont have to answer again!. xP

If you can't love
then you can't feel
the emotions inside
that feel so real

And once you discover
that sunsets arent so real
That the sunrise is just the same
No magic they conceal

And once you discover
that the wind does not sing
That all it is
is a mornful ring

And ears dont hear
and eyes can't see
what the world is made of
What it really could be

And once you discover
that fariy tales aren't real
that the magic is nothing
It was just an appeal

Once you discover !.!.!.
that he doesn't exist
That he was an illusion
from the lovely mist

And the stars aren't shaped
with pointed sides
All they do is shine
and in the end they die

And the lightning that strikes
isn't from a famous greek god
That its all earth science
It was just a fraud

And the hands on the clock
are just there to say
that the time is gone
It's twilight now, not dayWww@QuestionHome@Com


Best Answer - Chosen by Asker:
6

Good ideas, but take out some of the words like "that", "the", and "then"!. also, the rythm is a little messed up!.

Keep writing everyday!. It is good practice!.Www@QuestionHome@Com

5!.
It's nice and actually explores some really good themes and ideas, but the syntax is awkward and you haven't really finished it!.
What happens once you discover!.!.!.!?Www@QuestionHome@Com

12459815644861/10
i think this is my fav poem of yoursWww@QuestionHome@Com

Amazingly depressing 7/10Www@QuestionHome@Com

3Www@QuestionHome@Com

may i say 11!?Www@QuestionHome@Com

gosh it was sad 10-10!. !. !. sad but very good(=((Www@QuestionHome@Com

i liked it an 8 or 9 2 meWww@QuestionHome@Com