My second poem ever! help me fix it up?

Question: My second poem ever! help me fix it up!?

http://www!.mypoetryforum!.com/poemslate!.p!.!.!.

please click the link
then tell me what you think!

any ideas how to fix it up!?Www@QuestionHome@Com

Best Answer - Chosen by Asker:

It was a creative poem!.!.!.

besides minor things!.!.!. like changing 'motionless' to 'motionlessness' and 'unveils to' to 'unveiling' I think you've got a nice imaginative story!.

You might want to work in a rhyme scheme and some descriptions of the locations in your poem, to make it more complete!. Describing a mystical sort of cave from the abyss might do more to grab the reader's attention!.Www@QuestionHome@Com

i love it and its doup,and i think that you should sell it!.ITS CRAZY, love love love love!.Www@QuestionHome@Com

its very good!. keep it upWww@QuestionHome@Com