suggestions on this?

Question: What are your thoughts/suggestions on this!?

I closed my eyes, drew back and shot my arrow
for the stars above me
When I opened the clear sky showed no signs
that you would ever love me
Promised thoughts remain as mirrors bending inward
to reflect my weakened heart
For as vain as I can be, I never guessed
my image rejected such art

Only the stars understand my inability to shine
In my existence there is no difference
between what is theirs and what is mine
I often wish upon a star I know someday will come
Then on that day I'll fly away
and the leave the blackened grounds I came from

The constellations give me second chances on things
I wish I'd never done
Teachers of lessons, these tests of old
remind me that I am so young
Show the guidance I so desperately need
in my microscopic soul
I don't have the time so why wait for me
The sun is burning a lifeless hole
I've made my bed before!.!.!.!. never so uncomfortableWww@QuestionHome@Com

Best Answer - Chosen by Asker:

i felt the breath of sadness
as it surrounds me during the dawn,
the fire, air and water
giving sanctuary to a being
reduced into an enigma by the heavens

i felt the earth awaken to my call,
an enlightenment shrouded by emotions,
truths that surrendered doubts,
diverse phallacies forever walks an eternity

---noelle

edit: sg i liked your poem!. i wrote this as an answer to it!.Www@QuestionHome@Com

ah - you are the author, and it is a reflection of your Sun in the 6th house!.

It's a fabulous poem - I would give it an A+Www@QuestionHome@Com

Am sorry!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.:-(
It is just me : have always disliked poetry!. So I can't judge; always reminds me how bored I was (and sucked at it too) when I had to analyse an author and its poems!.Www@QuestionHome@Com

correct me if im wrong but i think you are you trying to express the hazzards of being a fatalist!.

life is life, lets live it :)
good poemWww@QuestionHome@Com

for someone who never knows how to do poetry like me!.!.!.!.!.

i think thats excellent hey!.!.!.Www@QuestionHome@Com

It is a very nice poem that you wrote!.Www@QuestionHome@Com

WOW!!!Www@QuestionHome@Com

NICE! ;DWww@QuestionHome@Com

Sounds greatWww@QuestionHome@Com

This is a really nice poem SG

Very deepWww@QuestionHome@Com

That's really good, I loved it!. Peace!Www@QuestionHome@Com

Wow!.!.!.now you have officially turned into an emo kid! haha!
I'm joking =P
I like your poem!. It's very deep!. Poetry has always been a little boring for me but in your case it's pretty good!. Maybe you should write a book someday because from what I can see your talents are exceptional!.
Your words strike me as familiar because similar feelings have also resided inside of me!. I am still prone to becoming overwhelmed by them but I know that once some of the confusion is lessened you would be able to feel much of the weight being lifted off your shoulders!. Never lose hope because in the end everything will turn out okay!.
I can see that you have really put a lot of thought into this so well done! =)Www@QuestionHome@Com