A new poem...do you like it?

Question: A new poem!.!.!.do you like it!?

Morn silent but for one bird and a chime-
This garden's secret space rejects all time!.
Dawn's tenderest beams warm hairs on my neck, bent
Over the slaughtered child I bury here,
Over the destiny I'll never hear!.
My bare feet wet with night's dew nearly spent,
I have lost any sense
Of my own innocence!.
It's also beautiful,as cloud swept sleek,
As jagged tears felled ravaged on my cheek,
As dirty, shadowing urchin in my dreams!.
So, pity not at all these howling flights,
My body all in flames throughout the nights!.
Only the urchin never cries, it seems!.Www@QuestionHome@Com

Best Answer - Chosen by Asker:

Anguish!.!.!.agony, and yet this underlying need, this protective sense throughout it all, hauntingly disturbing and yet so darkly eloquent that one cannot help but fall into the vortex that your words have spun!. The two lines "I have lost any sense/Of my own innocence" not only with the beautiful rhyme but the message lying underneath the words!. To preserve innocence you must oft times sacrifice your own, and the only way to preserve innocence is to make sure that it never breathes again!. This is disturbing, lingering, with a taste like a new moon!.!.!.Thank you!.Www@QuestionHome@Com

Oh my! So much sadness and pain!. What could have been, will never be!. How does the mother carry on!? I do not know!. The child is gone - forever!. The worse event a mother could ever experience!. It's outside the law of nature!. Very thought provoking and most definitely moving!.Www@QuestionHome@Com

bitersweet
profound
clear imagery
and too much & disturbing possibly for some
while for others connection validation and may want more

the Q is do I 'like' it!?
yes, in many ways

Thanks for the Q :)Www@QuestionHome@Com

I will have to ponder why the urchin never seems to cry, unless it is your shadow!. Beautiful images abound in this poem of lost and longing to me!. Well penned and thought provoking!. My compliments!.Www@QuestionHome@Com

Oh God , that is beautifulllllllllllllllllll
i'm!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.just about speachless

Oh it is sooooo beautiful
have i told you i really like it!? 9/10Www@QuestionHome@Com

I love it, it made me share your mood and care about your loss," As jagged tears felled ravaged on my cheek",
i am moved by this peice!. i say, Well donel!.Www@QuestionHome@Com

its lovely!it is ever evocative and inspirational and also very sad and heart felt!. if it based on something that happened to u or!.!.!.!.what inspired u to write it!? :)Www@QuestionHome@Com

very good except this it should be all so beautiful not also try it!.Www@QuestionHome@Com

Beautiful and sad for the little bird!. I understand!.Www@QuestionHome@Com

I liked it!.!.!.its really sesetive!.!.!.its good!Www@QuestionHome@Com

Very heartfelt, a lovely poem!.Www@QuestionHome@Com

6/10Www@QuestionHome@Com

thats REALLY good
very deep toWww@QuestionHome@Com

I like it!.!.!.!.dark mysterious, could mean a lot of things!.!.!.Www@QuestionHome@Com

i couldnt even read the whole thing!.!.!.i dont like it!.!.!.unless your like 60 years old then MAYBEWww@QuestionHome@Com

niceWww@QuestionHome@Com

I love it, it's very deepWww@QuestionHome@Com

i give it a 7 out of 10Www@QuestionHome@Com

Its really good, I like the way you make use of visual and descriptive imagery to create a natural picture around you!. The imagery is taken from nature which gives it a pastoral quality and with many poems, light represents positive feelings in the speaker whilst an absence of light represents pain and bereavement!.

Paraphrase - The speaker/persona is burying a child at dawn, probably her own child and expresses the pain she feels for the loss of a loved one!.

The imagery starts in an almost comforting and peaceful way in the line "Dawn's tenderest beams warm hairs on my neck!.!.!." Dawn is personified by the use of the word tender and seems to be a healing force for the persona!.
A tonal shift takes place on the line
"I have lost any sense" The initial tones were of peace, tranquility and comfort but now the tones are changing and it seems like darness and misery is closing in on her!.
The words "jagged" and "ravaged" are particularly effective at conveying the way that the speaker's comfort has been cut through as if by a knife and she is now in a state of melancholia!. The tone continues to become darker where the speaker suggests she has sleepless, painful nights with nightmares!.Www@QuestionHome@Com