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Question: What do you think of this poem!? Tips welcome!(but dont be to harsh=)!?
LAND OF THE DEAD

I watch a wave if mist wash over the moon lit valley
and a chill of fear is sent through me!.
Should I go down in to the eerie depths of the moon lit place or
Should I listen to my fear and find another way!?
Should I walk through the land of the dead,
the place where spirits linger forever!?

What was that there!? Was it a movement!?
A spirit crying out in to the moon lit night!?
What was that there!?
A flash of light!. !. !.
a spirit walking in the mist!?

In to this land I must go,
no reason can I find but my spirit pushes me on,
trying to get me to remember something thats
so hazy in my mind!.

What is that, am I dead!?
Is that what I have come to this place for!?
Have I come to find my final rest!?
Am I walking in to the land of the dead!?
Yes its so clear now,
I'm dead, I have come to find my place
among the rest!.

But this fear in side of me,
what can it be!?
Do I fear the spirits that linger on,
or is it the mist the chills me so deep!?
What is fear!. !. !.
I no longer remember,
now the only thing to me is the gentle
calling of deaths voice biding me to move on!.Www@QuestionHome@Com


Best Answer - Chosen by Asker:
Liked it a lot!.You could ,if you plan to re work it, add one or two more senses!.You see some mist,you hear a noise(movement)then all the rest is think!.What does it smell like there what does it feel like there!.Over all though I do say very nicely worded!.Www@QuestionHome@Com

I loved it, it's great, just a little spelling mistake in the first line, but it is a distraction and you should always check and double check before setting it free!. Hope to read some more from you!. have a star!. jinglin jimmy!.Www@QuestionHome@Com

Oooooh! It's creepy and I like it! You put people's fear of death and the dead into poetic form, which is no easy feat, believe you me!.Www@QuestionHome@Com

T_T It reminds me of mystical love! That had ended and it is sad and cold now!.!.!.!.I don't know how to describe it but it's lovely!Www@QuestionHome@Com

its very good!.Www@QuestionHome@Com