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Question: Well, another Acrostic Sonnet hit me!. How do I improve it!?
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Watch the thundering sky, give me a taste,
Hoping the torrent will bring me your love!.
In this, among this, I cannot be chaste!.
Soul firing kisses rain from above!.
Preaching no gospel, not known to my god,
Ethereal wishes turn into glass!.
Reaching out for what's real, I'm named a fraud,
Impaled on a fantasy that won't pass!.
Neon lamps lighting a road that is dark,
Going nowhere, I'm denied paradise!.
Remembering my scars, eternal mark,
Affliction and glory, my sacrifice!.
I am with you, love, but I feel alone,
Now that I know my love cannot be shown!.Www@QuestionHome@Com


Best Answer - Chosen by Asker:
There is no problem with line 7!. it's probably FP's pronunciation that throws it off!. Beautiful job, befitting a spot on the wall of the communal dome!.Www@QuestionHome@Com

I have struggled writing a sonnet the last few days, much less a perfect acrostic sonnet!. I am spellbound with admiration!. The lines are beautiful in themselves, and the poem as a whole is breathtaking!.This poem is so very sad!. I especially relate to the line
"Remembering my scars, eternal mark", and love the line
"Ethereal wishes turn to glass"!. I really hope your muse continues to inspire these!. Thank you!.Www@QuestionHome@Com

Line 7 (ironically the number of completion) is offkilterd (using the Irish spellin') and is the only thing in the whole poem that throws me off!. I am sorry for bursting your Sonnet bubble but that is just what I felt as I combed over this one!. I liked the poem, don't take me wrong, simply though I would toot the whistle there!. I am no guru so throw my comment out the window if you must!.Www@QuestionHome@Com

This speaks to me so much so, I felt that you had a glimpse of my immediate life experience!.!.!. what a wonder you are!.
I like knowing that even in the whispering rain, his love cloaks me!.!.!.!. for true love is grand!.



TemariWww@QuestionHome@Com

This is an accomplishment! An acrostic sonnet!. I would suggest dividing the stanzas into sonnet form (4-4-4-2) to make it more apparent!. Let's take this one to Mars!.Www@QuestionHome@Com

Magnificent, as always, ET!.Www@QuestionHome@Com

I really want to go outside in the rain now! Thanks a lot!

As normal, LOL!.!.!.

P!.S!. I!. Miss!. You!.Www@QuestionHome@Com

You just keep on pouring out these wonders!. I keep on being amazed!.Www@QuestionHome@Com

I like this it sounds like a stormWww@QuestionHome@Com