I wrote this super short song and I'd like to know your thoughts on it.?

Question: I wrote this super short song and I'd like to know your thoughts on it!.!?

When I hear you laugh
Makes me want to cry-y
Reminds me of the times
You couldn't make it
My gosh your parents
Way too overprotective
Gotta find a way
To get some freedom
Ooh, ooh, ooh
There isn't a da-a-ay
I don't think of you
We mi-i-iss you
We mi-i-iss you
And
We've gotta see through
These
Da-ark ti-imes
So I can n
I can n
I can see you
We-e miss youWww@QuestionHome@Com

Best Answer - Chosen by Asker:

it was quitce good!.i would rate it 7!.u understood the fact that all poems dont need to rhyme!.Www@QuestionHome@Com

Chococat - maybe this is an American thing!.!.!.!.but, it sounds really big-headed to me to hear some-one say 'I wrote this super!.!.!.!.!.!.!.'
This does nothing for me!. How long did it take to write!? Sometimes brilliant poems/songs can be written in a few minutes, but only by really talented people!. The rest of us must work a bit harder to get something good!.Www@QuestionHome@Com

To be honest I really don't like this!. It's a bit generic high school emo sounding!. Cheesey and whiney, not a good combination in this sense!. But don't let me discourage you, somebody might go crazy over it!. Keep it up!Www@QuestionHome@Com

excellente , perfecto!.!.!.!.!.!.Www@QuestionHome@Com

I like it, sounds like it came from the heart!!! Good one! They will love it!Www@QuestionHome@Com

cool isn't it!?peopleWww@QuestionHome@Com