How do you like this poem based on an experience I had today?

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Question:

"Gettin' Physical"

I've grown very restless
From waiting a long time!.
Finally you beckon
And close the door behind!.

You ask me to lay down
And promise it won't hurt!.
Before I know what hits me,
Your hand is up my shirt

I clench up real tight,
As your hand moves 'cross my chest!.
You say to take it slowly,
Deep and prolonged breaths!.

You ask me to stand up
And then undo my belt!.
You reaching in my pants
Is the strangest thing I've felt!.

I give a nervous cough!.
Your every word I follow!.
I guess I should relax
With a doctor that's so thorough!.

-swoosh

Whadjah think!?Www@QuestionHome@Com

Best Answer - Chosen by Asker:

I saw it coming because you tried to do to much!. Nice style, well penned, build some more suspense first!. The punchline could be as simple as one line!. This is worth spending some more time on!.Www@QuestionHome@Com

I saw that coming, altho' for a brief moment I thought it was the dentist!.

It is good for what it is, which is a frivolous bit of nonsense!.
Some of the meter is out in places, but this is not a serious poem so - who cares!?
(hit and miss rhyming in places too)Www@QuestionHome@Com

oh my, I didn't see that coming, for real!. I liked it, I liked the way the ending was surprising and the whole poem was really well written and thought out, way to go!.Www@QuestionHome@Com

AAAARRRRRGGGGHHHH!!! now I have Olivia Newton John singing in my head!. I may never forgive you for this!.

Just kidding!.

Fun little piece, guaranteed to bring about a smile!.Www@QuestionHome@Com

The title is clever, but it gives the joke away!.Www@QuestionHome@Com

Well - I didn't see it coming!. Liked it - was getting nervous and then took a hard right - real fun ;-)Www@QuestionHome@Com

LOL

I expected that to go in a TOTALLY different direction!

It was funnyWww@QuestionHome@Com