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Question: She says she's more than a pretty face but!.!.!.!?
She's not all that pretty,
A common sight to see!.
Chopped full of imperfections,
Mediocre as can be!.
Nothing really stunning
That would deserve a second look!.
From what I know about her,
She won't go down in my book!.
Not really very smart,
Doesn't got a lotta money!.
Comes across as weird
When she's tryin' to be funny!.
But she said she was interested,
So I said, "Alright!. Sunday!."
Now that we've stopped talking,
It's already the next Monday!
And now I think about it,
I believe I've changed my mind!.
She's really very beautiful
And bright, and sweet, and kind!.
Perfect in every way,
Wouldn't change a thing!.
Extraordinary wonder,
Such happiness you bring!
A shame so much is wasted
In this careless life we live!.
'Cause if you'd stop to realize,
There's so much we can give!.
-swoosh
Comments/ Critiques!?Www@QuestionHome@Com
Best Answer - Chosen by Asker:
What love does to us, eh!? Like the old film The Enchanted Cottage with Robert Young and Dorothy MacGuire (1944)
Loved that film!.
This could be improved, swoosh!.
chopped full of imperfections - is that a USA expression!?
To be full of something doesn't go with the word 'chopped'
Chock full is the normal expression, mind you, even that seems peculiar in the cold light of day!.
And from what I know of her
she won't be in my book!.
(she won't go down in my book!.!.!.!.is too long)
The verse about Sunday, Monday, !.!.!.!.!.stopped talking implies you had a row!.!.!.is that what you mean!? If you did, why the sudden change of feelings!? Or is it that your love is shallow and based on wanting something you can't have!?
The last line too is a unclear - in the context of what has taken place!. Who gave, or didn't give - you or her!? Gave what!? Gave some-one love!? time!? a chance!?
Picky, picky I know - but, the poem is worth working on a little longer!.Www@QuestionHome@Com
Good poem, try to make it less contraction like!. Avoid "tryin'"
But yeah, it's a good poem, just like int he movies where the main character doesn't realize that the friend right in front of them is the one that they were meant for in the beginning!.!.Www@QuestionHome@Com
It is sweet, tender, ironic, and very funny!. Tell la grande mer that "chopped full of imperfections" isn't an American phrase!. It is purely swooshian!.Www@QuestionHome@Com
omg! i like the poem!.!.!. its like the feeling when your in love!!. its beautifulWww@QuestionHome@Com
fantasticWww@QuestionHome@Com
I really like it, but I agree with Jake's first part of his comment!.Www@QuestionHome@Com