What do you think of this Poem? Not one of my better ones.?

Question: What do you think of this Poem!? Not one of my better ones!.!?

Not one of my better ones but I'll let you decide for yourself what you think of it!.

Do you feel pain
Can you see rain
Do you love someone
Is it like flying with a dove
Do you, at night, sometimes cry
Would you someday fly away into the sky
Has death taken away your heart
Does it hurt not doing your part
to make life better for all of human kind
or do you just ignore it like a clock you wind!.Www@QuestionHome@Com

Best Answer - Chosen by Asker:

May I make a suggestion!? Image you are having a conversation with a friend, or watching a film or reading a book!.!.!.!.!.!.don't you expect to get some interesting details from this!?

Look at your poem - it is simply a list of emotions or metaphors/similes for emotions!.!.!.there is no substance here!.

People don't care - they aren't interested!.
You say to your friend -"I feel pain, did you ever love some one and spend your nights crying!. Or lose some-one!? What about helping other people, do you consider this or just ignore it!?" By now your friend is yawning or looking past you at the tv!.

Try this!.!.!.!.visualise a real (or well thought out imaginery incident) and write about it!.!.!.!.then include your emotional reaction to it!.

I watched him sprawled on the college steps,
Looking deliberately casual and cool
But, I knew he was acting,
hiding his pain from the school!.
I knew because
he'd been my lover
all the long summer break
And now in this new semester
We'd agreed to part (for my sake)
etc!.
This isn't perfect, obviously, since I've just dashed it off as an example!.!.!.!.but, at least your readers might want to know why you broke up!.
Keep writingWww@QuestionHome@Com

BOOOOORING!.More passion!.Www@QuestionHome@Com

its kinda cliche
ive heard it all before
ehhhhhh
i would give it a two outta five
keeeeeep workin! :)Www@QuestionHome@Com

You have some very good advice from Grannyji!.!.!.
PeaceWww@QuestionHome@Com