Last poem of the night, is it any good.?

Question: Last poem of the night, is it any good!.!?

"egypt"

Give me your flesh,
I'll grant every desire!.
The price you pay,
frontiers of your mind!.

Summon me, I'll show you,
realms of death and pain!.
Pleasure and disgust,
Sex, torture and fame!.

I am legend!.
One of the ancients!.
Power left with fools,
As I woke i knew!.Www@QuestionHome@Com

Best Answer - Chosen by Asker:

I find the last verse to be extraordinary
Almost too fine for the other verses

Often when I write a poem I write it and then I work on eliminating words or rephrasing them!.

For instance I think the second verse would be good to put the first line last!.

Pleasure and disgust
sex torture and fame
Realms of death and pain
Summoned
I will show you

First verse

Desires granted
as you share your flesh
Frontiers of your mind
Will be the price you pay

Be sure to read your poetry out loud to your self!. Make the words be woven - fined tuned- greater poems - more drama-more memorable!.

I like the poem
I always write then sit on it for a day or two and when inspired I reread it as if it were fresh!. Then your ear will hear the changes that need to be madeWww@QuestionHome@Com

I refer to Rilke when discussing - is your poem any good!?

A young poet once sent Ranier Maria Rilke his poems and asked if he was any good!. Rilke responded - why do you ask me!.!. if when you reach into your soul - it commands you to write - than you are a poet!.

I can only be just a comment on you as a poet!.!.!.and what purpose does commentary serve!?

Good Luck my friend!.Www@QuestionHome@Com

holy **** you are amazing! your poetry speaks to me!. ya!.!.!. that sounds corny, but its hella true!. no joke!. i think you should post more, or at least include a link so we can check out other masterpeices!. i really like this poem!.Www@QuestionHome@Com

sounds like you are interested in Ms Cleopatra and some other things!.!.!.!.

maybe you shouldn't watch mummy or scorpion king before bed eh :o)

decent kind of glum and angsty though!.!.!.!.

to each their own then huh!?Www@QuestionHome@Com

You are very talented!. I think you should continue to write!.
<3Www@QuestionHome@Com

wow its good =]Www@QuestionHome@Com