Position:Home>Poetry> Does my poem rock ... or suck butt?
Question: Does my poem rock !.!.!. or suck butt!?
I wrote this about four years ago (when I was a sophomore in high school)!. Re-reading it, it sounds kind of whiny, but I want to fix it up!. What do you guys think!?
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The embers, having long since passed,
Render you all but missed!.
Never again will I resign to you,
Your empty truths!.
No other option,
I retreat inward --
Coward!.
A front, as hollow as you and I,
Indifference,
Will scorch you inside!.
It’s jagged, molten edges searing at your gut
Mutilate you so beautifully,
So joyously!.
Then, when all is quiet,
And you’ve felt what I have,
I’ll sneak back,
Salvaging whatever was left of me
In you!.Www@QuestionHome@Com
Best Answer - Chosen by Asker:
i'd like to see u perform his, like slam poetry, u noe!. very powerful emotions going on here though!. tote awsumWww@QuestionHome@Com
I think it shows a lot of potential!. It sounds like a sophomore, but 4 years makes a lot of difference!. I'm sure you would write it from a much more mature perspective at this time!.
You should start writing again!.Www@QuestionHome@Com
I can relate to this and it communicates the place you were at the time it was written!. It is not bad!. Hope you are in a better place in your life now!.Www@QuestionHome@Com
I like it, but it's almost a bit obsessive--aka creepyWww@QuestionHome@Com
I think it's pretty good!.
If you fixed it up a bit it would be a quite good poem!.
Nice:)Www@QuestionHome@Com
RockWww@QuestionHome@Com
its really good!.!.it rocks!!!Www@QuestionHome@Com
SUKK BUTT! naaah jp!.!.!.its a 6!.Www@QuestionHome@Com
wow it rocks!Www@QuestionHome@Com
dude u sound a little depressedWww@QuestionHome@Com
dude this is really nicely done!. very good!. i like it!. i give u A +Www@QuestionHome@Com