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Question: I'll pick best answer!.!.!.I wrote these poems, which one is better!?
Bluebird

Her song fills my night
with a solace she brings,
The emotions she recites
to the music she sings,
My bluebird delights
no longer broken wings,
Healed and able to fly
now her start can begin!.

Faithfully she's always
close but also free,
No longer can she stay,
Though giving her keys,
Wishing that someday
she will return to me,
My bluebird is dismayed,
But one day she'll see!.

She doesn't comprehend
our time has arrive,
Doesn't need my hand
anymore in this life,
Hurtful though I can't
even whisper goodbye,
But doing what I can
so my bluebird will fly!.Www@QuestionHome@Com


Best Answer - Chosen by Asker:
Alright!.
So, I love the first one, my favourite!.
You're really talented!.
Just try adding punctuation, in the middle of some verses!. That would tell the reader when to use and make the whole thing flow!. (Eg!. Hurtful, though I can't even whisper goodbye!.!.etc!.)
Keep writing, you're amazing!.

ps!. Can you write music!? These would be really beautiful as acoustic songs!.Www@QuestionHome@Com

Both to help you get them copy written and published I would love to see a book on these,Www@QuestionHome@Com

i prefer the first oneWww@QuestionHome@Com

they are both reall sweet they melt my heart i wish a guy would read one of them for me !.!.!.!.!.!.i LOve Em both!!!!!!Www@QuestionHome@Com

if you love something let it go is the worst possible declaration of love that I have ever heard!. If you love something you can never let them go even if you need to disguise your love into a million shapes and approach them in a million different forms, but you never let go and you never give up!. that is real love and it never fails, never fails!. no matter how it looks outside, but inside it never fails!.Www@QuestionHome@Com