Some poems I wrote. Tell me what you think...?

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Question:

These sick intentions
Poisoning your mind
Crawling through your vein
Up into your brain
It’s terrorizing your soul
And you know you’ll never be whole
All these memories keep coming back
They won’t let you ever forget

The silent pleading
A shadow of my fear
Hidden in my conscious
Never to appear

I'm drowning in my sorrows
Faking my smile
I hope my misery
kills you on the inside
It's bringing me down
To the bottom of the pit
I'm taking revenge
And I hope you will regret it
Scarred for the rest of my life
My heart will never be whole
I hope these blades won't just hurt me
But also your soul

Desperate phantasms
Silent speculations
A battle with reality
Hidden truths
And sick intentions
Mistaken for beauty and love
These lifeless sensations
Finally laid to restWww@QuestionHome@Com

Best Answer - Chosen by Asker:

Hmm, Not sure why but I kinda got butterflies readin it!.
Add some more rhyming and keep the sentences short!.
It was great ;)Www@QuestionHome@Com

It was REALLY good!.
But if its based on true life (which im sure it is)
I think you might need help tho!.
Im guessing youre a teenager whos heart got broken or somebody hurt you pretty badly!.
Ive been there before!.
I got help with it!.
& so should you!.
Dont let anybody hurt you in any way possible
& dont let the hurt effect you where you want to harm yourself!.
Its not an answer or a way out!.
Turn to God!.!.!. and talk to a professional or somebody older & experienced, maybe at school or the doctor!?
Good luck sweet<3Www@QuestionHome@Com

Sounds like something a 12-year-old girl would cut herself to!.Www@QuestionHome@Com

IT'S SAD KINDA SAD BUT RELLY GOOD YOUR A GOOD WRITER!!Www@QuestionHome@Com

very Hamlet!.!.good :DWww@QuestionHome@Com

sounds dark, depressing and sick with unhappy feelings!. sounds like you really have wounds in your personal life!.!.!.!.!.Www@QuestionHome@Com

Honestly,

I hear a bunch of these same poems over and over!.Www@QuestionHome@Com