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Position:Home>Poetry> A Poem - A Quiet Scream - Do You Like?Question: A Poem - A Quiet Scream - Do You Like!? With shoulders square and head erect
He walks proudly for all to see There's a pain others don't detect Yet he smiles and acts cordially He carries his burden all alone To share would upset loved ones A quiet scream has set up home Yet he laughs, jokes, and feigns fun He dons a mask to hide sadness And acts brave in a scary land Deciding to never confess Yet dares one who understandsWww@QuestionHome@Com Best Answer - Chosen by Asker: nice!.!.!. The descriptions and imagery you generate are potent and eloquent and the themes you convey about how people often display facades and wear disguises masking their true personality and pains and their outside appearance is the tip of the iceberg defining whom they truly are!. Well done!! Your use of symbolism and utilisation of the common technique of creating a subject to convey these themes which are described from a detached perspective were as good as any of them gets!! Your diction was superlative and your meter was incosistent but the very hints of rhythm still generated some sort of mellifluity!. I enjoyed the blank verse approach and quatrain stanzas!! Cheers, you've done great! Your are a fine poet!! This is almost as good as the Black Night's poems!!! but don't take them as criticism because it isn't lol!!! Honestly well done friend!Www@QuestionHome@Com I relate to your poem so very well; I know that unseen pain and "quiet scream" so this poem had a tremendous impact on me!. You did an incredible job creating the dichotomy between what is truth and what is evident, and thus evoking the courageous sadness of the poem!. There is also the mystery of the last lines, making me wonder!. This is a very moving poem!. Thank you!.Www@QuestionHome@Com Yes, that is a very telling phrase 'A quiet scream' it reminds me of Munch's painting The Scream -with the figure on the bridge his face distorted with anguish!. How many of us are there who do this I wonder!. Showing a calm exterior whilst churning up inside!.!.!.too many I think!. The older generation especially were taught not to show their emotions in public so they probably suffer more than most!. You have capture this well!.Www@QuestionHome@Com This is a universal theme!. I think of Pagliacci, the clown who cries in his aria: Recitar! Vesti la giubba!. To perform! Put on the costume!. The costume, of course, has a double meaning!. We hide our fears and sorrows behind the costume of a smile!. There are some burdens that must be carried alone and all we can do is sympathize and console!.Www@QuestionHome@Com This is a powerful and poignant poem!. You should send it in to see if it would be published in any of the military newspapers!. If they won't, go for psychology magazines!. It is perfect!.Www@QuestionHome@Com I love it!. It's one we can all relate to, though not necessarily to that extent!. I can see that image in my head really clearly, I absolutely love this poem!.Www@QuestionHome@Com The hidden pain has to be the worst to carry!. Well said!. Your last line leaves the ambiguity intact of what it is or who can help!.Www@QuestionHome@Com This is really so awesome and i love it !.Your poetry is always such a delight to read with all the subjects you write about!.Www@QuestionHome@Com I like it and I feel his pain!. In the first stanzas I would cut the ly's!.Www@QuestionHome@Com A very intriguing piece this is!. I know this all to well!. Excellent writing!.Www@QuestionHome@Com wow omg its like you wrote this right after seeing me from the inside i love it i don't know who its about but that's how i feel latelyWww@QuestionHome@Com The roaring calm!.!.!.I know such a place!.Www@QuestionHome@Com I really like your poem :)Www@QuestionHome@Com I can relate with it!. Well written!.Www@QuestionHome@Com I like! :-)Www@QuestionHome@Com that was very good indeed!.!. you can feel his pain!. !.!. what joy others have is not his !.!. and will never be!.!.Www@QuestionHome@Com Ok, I gotta call the CIA or somebody, you have been reading my diary again!!!! Well done, I love it!.Www@QuestionHome@Com i liked it, especially the last two lines, they were goodWww@QuestionHome@Com I like this a lot !. Is this about an American solider !?!?!? If not it should be !. great work keep writingWww@QuestionHome@Com |