Wrote this last night, comments please?

Question: Wrote this last night, comments please!?

'My Light' (<---- Title)

It's a feeling!.
To know, it's ok!.
When everything is fine,
And nothing can bring you down!.

It's a fact!.
When you're having a good day!.
To see the kindness in someone's heart,
But to keep in mind there's always a darkness!.

It's a sign!.
That good things are coming!.
To keep fighting the bad,
No matter how down you are!.

This is my light!.
My motivation!.
My heart, my soul!.
Me!.

All critcism accepted!! =DWww@QuestionHome@Com

Best Answer - Chosen by Asker:

Me, personally, I'm not crazy about it!.

I don't have a good sense of what you are talking about!.

I am not blown away by any of your language use!.

I don't connect!.

I especially don't like your use of the word "it!." What is this "it" you keep refering to!? Is it your light, mentioned in the title!? Okay, then, what is your light!?

I'd like you to use more concrete imagery!. Can you make me see and feel what you are seeing and feeling, that represents your light to you!? Can you give me a taste of your unique world and your place in it!?

I'd like to see you take a risk, as well!. Put something on the line!.

Something i do like -- your consistency!. Nothing sticks out as being out of place!. Everything -- your vocabulary and tone -- all is of a piece!.

But, I bet other people will like it!. I'd be interested in hearing what they liked about it!.Www@QuestionHome@Com

good!Www@QuestionHome@Com

chris this realy touch my heartWww@QuestionHome@Com